What happens to thieves who steal from the Wizard's customers? Or... Another case of advertising fraud (not)!|
The Beauty Soap
I was on the prowl it was spring and I had had enough of my flat I was looking for an easy target I was wandering past the junk store at the top of town something about it was different, but I couldn't work out what. I knew the old duffer in there had some decent stuff mainly jewellery but he also had a nasty temper and a stick, I wasn't gonna go in there no way, no how. I had heard of bad things happening to people like me who went in there. Ah now you're wondering about me, well in those days I was a thief, I would steal anything from anyone, the sort of guy who would sell his own mother. On top of that I was nasty, try and catch me and I would pull a blade.
So anyway I had left the shop alone but I knew that the stuff you could get in there was well worth having, I had a good look around there were no other windows and the only way in was through the front door. I decided to leave it the guy in there was a complete nutter and I didn't want to cross him, as I turned to go a little old lady doddered out of the shop she had her handbag and another big bag with the shop logo on it.
Here was my chance I would grab her shopping and bag; she didn't look strong enough to resist me...
I followed her along the road until she turned down Abbot's Way. Perfect I thought, she was halfway down the hill in the shady bit by the library. I ran towards her and as I had anticipated she moved to one side leaving her bags in just the right place to grab, she of course hung on and fell to the floor, "Let go you old cow," I shouted raising my foot to kick her, she saw my intent and flinched away letting go of her bags...
"'Ere you, wotcha think your doing." A voice behind me made me jump, I spun round and there was some old fool. "So long Gramps" I shouted and legged it out of there.
I ran most of the way home, home for me was a dingy basement flat, it was cold and damp in winter and hot, damp and smelly in summer. The few things I had had when I moved in had mouldered away. I had ditched the old ladies handbag into the beck, now I turned out her purse onto the bed, "Jesus there must like two hundred quid in here" I mumbled to myself, I quickly counted it up £189. I decided I would go out that night, I rummaged around on the floor for something to wear and then decided to have a shower, you never know with this sort of money I might get lucky.
The shower was the newest bit of the flat and still quite nice, it was one of those power showers; you know where you could change the water flow so it massaged you. Pretty cool for a council flat I thought. I started to get changed and tripped over the shopping bag; I had forgotten to look into this with the excitement of all that money. I tipped it out onto the bed Fuck there was a small box with soap in it and some clothes, no jewellery or anything I could sell, and what is worse the clothing was like for a teenage girl. I grabbed the soap and jumped into the shower might as well use this anyway I thought. The box said 'Beauty Soap' and underneath it said 'please read the instructions' huh why read instructions for soap, I discarded the box onto the floor, the soap looked like normal soap except it was pearly white with an almost luminescent glow to it, I quickly lathered up, being careful to get all of me, I even did my hair with it, ten minutes later I was out of the shower and drying off.
My skin was all pink and sort of sore and tingly, maybe I was allergic to the soap, I finished drying and pulled on a T-shirt, now I was feeling all shaky as well maybe I ought to sit down. I sat on edge of the bed, a shiver ran across my shoulders, I pulled the duvet over me and lay back...
I woke up and felt really sad, then annoyed I should be over this I told myself, Mum is gone and me being all weepy and a cry-baby won't change it. Now you're saying 'hang on what has happened to our anti-hero, our hardened criminal.' Well blowed if I knew, I used to live with me mum until I was like 12, then she got early onset senile dementia. I was put into a care home, and they looked after mum in another sort of care home. While I was there I got in with a rough group of lads, you know the type we'd be out nicking cars and mugging old ladies.
Well to cut a long story short we heard about this mad lady who lived in a house on Bedevere Street, which is in the posh end of town. Anyway me 'n' the lads went up there one weekend and kicked up a ruckus and this lady came out shouting and screaming, then we heard the cop car, it came down the street so we turned to leg it out of there, I ran smack bang into the mad woman, she of course grabbed at me. I shoved her down and she fell backwards into the wall, even over all the noise, the sirens, the shouts from the rest of the gang, I heard her head go clunk on the wall. Then Mum was lying on the pavement, blood pouring out of the hole in her head, that I had caused...
I had a lawyer, he wasn't up to much, one of them free ones that the police get you, he managed to turn it round, he said I had been visiting me Mum when the lads had kicked off I was just caught up in the fight. Still I cried myself to sleep every night for weeks. And to save face with the gang I started being nastier than them. I left the home soon as I could, I was still small for my age but no one who knew me would mess with me.
So here I was lying shivering on my bed crying about things that had happened in my past that until now I had covered up with bravado and drugs and alcohol. Eventually I must have dozed off because I awoke the next morning feeling really great, a bit sticky from sleep, I climbed into the shower and had a good wash, I realized that that soap must be good stuff as my skin was really soft, so was my hair.
Reaching for a towel when I stepped out of the shower I was almost sick the flat was disgusting there where heaps of mouldy clothes scattered around the floor papers and magazines littered the floor. I knew I would have my work cut out to get the place tidy, but I knew I was up to it, I put on the only clean clothes I could find, the ones I had stolen from the old lady yesterday, was it only yesterday I wondered it seems like it should have been longer ago. Always being small for my age the panties slipped on easily, as did the bra. The T-shirt was quite tight but I thought that was how it was supposed to look, the jeans where snug and the jumper was way too big, it was only after finishing dressing and adjusted a bra strap did I wonder why I had put the bra on, it's not like I needed one.
I slipped my feet into the trainers that where at the bottom of the bag and thought Where to start? I looked into the kitchen and recoiled from the mess, the sink looked like a toilet Oh my god this was going to take ages I thought. Right I picked up the purse I had stolen from the old lady, I felt really guilty about that now.
I left the flat and went to the supermarket at the bottom of the hill. I hoped that the older security guard wasn't on duty as he would recognize me and call the police. As I reached the main entrance I felt relief that the guard wasn't in his usual place I went in and picked up some skimmed milk and some instant coffee, why I didn't know I don't even like coffee. Then I picked up a whole load of cleaning things, and then for some reason as I passed the display with tights and underwear I picked up two packets of panties and some of those trainer sock things. I got to the counter and paid for everything, including the coffee that I had put back about three times, the guy behind the counter smiled at me. The weird thing was though instead of snarling at him I actually smiled back, and thanked him. I'm going soft in my old age. I thought.
I went back to the flat and started tidying, it took me 5 hours just to get the kitchen clean I ended up tying my hair back in a pony tail to keep it out of my face, I went back out to do some more shopping, in tidying the kitchen I had realized I had absolutely no food and I would need something for lunch. I decided to go back to the local supermarket, this time as I walked through the door I tripped and fell head long at the feet of the security guard, he helped me to my feet and kept apologizing to me, eventually it got through my confusion "I really am sorry Miss, I hadn't realized that the mat had a wrinkle in it, I'll get someone to straighten it out right away" I was in shock this man who knew me well as a thief not only hadn't recognized me but thought I was a girl, he helped me to one of those wooden benches the supermarkets have for old folks to sit on, I sat there for several minutes feeling faint.
Eventually I managed to stagger to my feet and continue with my shopping expedition, I bought some low fat cheese and some bread, this time as I was walking past the lingerie display I picked up some more panties, socks and this time two bras, 34b I think. Once again I went to pay and this time the lad behind the counter spoke to me "If you want to look at the makeup display we have got a special offer, buy three items and get the cheapest free" I looked at him utterly shocked and then my feet carried me over to the makeup display and I bought a lipstick an eyeliner and a blusher. This has got to stop I thought they must be using subliminals or something as I walked out of the door.
When I got home I had a light snack and cleaned the toilet and the bathroom, wishing that I hadn't smashed the mirror at some point as I got glass in my hand for the umpteenth time.
By five o'clock I was exhausted but I had nearly done the flat, the place was really clean, I had scrubbed everything that needed scrubbing and polished everything else. Swept the floor and thrown away all the papers and magazines binned the mouldy clothes. The only clothes I had left was the underwear I had bought that day and the clothes I had on. I remembered it was a Thursday and late night opening in town I reckoned if I hurried I could get into town and buy some more clothes and maybe a rug and a cushion or two, maybe a duvet and some new pillows. I picked up the old ladies purse and locked the flat walking quickly I got to the bus stop just as the 5:30 bus drew up I was in town 15 minutes later and shopping 5 minutes after that.
At eight o'clock when the shops shut I had spent the last of the money that I had stolen off the old lady.
The flat even smelt nicer when I opened the door, I put all my new clothes away in the dresser and remade the bed with the new linen, I hung up the new towels in the bathroom and put the make up on top of the dresser, I had a long relaxing shower, washing carefully I used my new lady shave to shave my legs and underarms. I got out of the shower and patted myself dry on the new fluffy towel, I put my bra back on and a clean pair of panties, I hopped into bed and then remembered my new nighties, I put it on climbed back into bed lay down...
What was happening to me I wondered until now I had been a fairly normal, alright I was a little tow-rag but now I was primping and preening like a young girl, I had a drawer full of lingerie and I was lying in bed wearing a bra and panties. With these thoughts I drifted of to sleep...
The next morning I awoke really early for me and instead of getting dressed I read a magazine I had bought the previous evening, today was the day I would receive my benefit payment, but as it was only 8 o'clock and the post wouldn't arrive till at least 10, I read a bit of the magazine and then lay back in thought.
For the last three days I had been behaving more and more like a girl, I was wearing girls clothes and instead of feeling shocked or odd about it, it felt completely natural, in fact it felt quite good it made my crotch tingle, like it did when I looked at a porn mag, besides my crotch though my chest was tingling in the same way, one of my hands drifted down my smooth flat midriff to my crotch but there was no comforting bulge there, I was as flat as a girl, in fact I thought with a feeling of panic not only was I smooth as a girl, I had the same opening down there.
I sat up feeling utter panic what had happened, the gentle lethargy however wouldn't leave me, I didn't really care I felt really comfortable now much more so than I had before, being small wasn't a hindrance anymore, in fact it was a benefit. I remembered the mirror I had bought the previous night and carefully unwrapped it; I hung it in the bathroom. I stared for what seemed like an age. The girl looking back at me from the mirror was beautiful she could be a model, totally gorgeous, I should be gagging to be with her, but I wasn't. I mean I felt love for her but only that of a sister or parent, she was me.
I slowly stripped of the clothes I had worn for the night, underneath my skin was flawlessly smooth, I wasn't quite skinny but I wasn't carrying any excess weight either, the bra I had been wearing was too small for the breasts that now sprouted from my chest, and my lower body was in perfect proportion wide hips and narrow waist, and between my legs I was totally female.
I think I must have been standing their for about 40 minutes before a knock at the door broke the spell, I quickly shrugged back into my nightie and slipped into my bathrobe and slippers, the postman was early it was only nine thirty, here you go Miss, and this needs signing for, he handed me two letters one was the expected Giro and the other was addressed to the occupier and took my signature on his little clipboard. The package he had delivered was about the size of a paperback book with a lump at one end; I thanked the postman and bounced back into my flat.
I flopped onto the bed and tore opened my Giro normal amount, Hang on the name was for Heidi Moorhouse, the sir name is right but my name is Henry I put it down and returned to the package it held several booklets and another bar of the soap, the booklets turned out to be a passport again for Heidi Moorhouse and some documents for Cartwright's Furniture Store, where Heidi appeared to work, I looked again at the Giro, it wasn't from the Benefits Agency it was my first wage slip, for the first months work. I was totally confused, I picked up the passport and looked at the picture again, and I realized that the picture could be a mirror, the date of birth made me about 16 years old.
Oh my god, in one morning I have lost my masculinity, my name and 10 years of age. The last letter said that due to a clerical error I had been let this property in error as I was only 16 I was ineligible for a council property but if I went down to the council offices I would be found a place in a care home until I was 18. And I would have one week to vacate the premises. And now I have lost my now clean flat, it just wasn't fair. The only clue was the bar of soap that had been included in the package.
After I had dried my eyes. I decided to go to the shop and see if they could tell me where to find the old lady, she must know what had been happening to me.
I got dressed, the bras I had bought the other night were a perfect fit, somewhere down the line I had bought a dress I slipped into it now and put on the trainers, which where the only shoes I had. I picked up the little rucksack I had bought to use as a handbag; I left the flat and walked into town.
It was lovely warm spring day and the breeze on my bare legs was amazing, I soon felt the urge to leap about giddily, I mainly managed to resist the temptation, only skipping when I thought no-one was watching. I soon arrived at the junk shop on Bridger Street. I pushed open the door and looked briefly around, the weird old man appeared silently from the door at the back, "Good morning young lady may I assist you in any way?"
"Hi, I came past the other day and saw an old lady leave here..." I stopped how to explain it.
"Did you see what happened?"
"Did you see that young hoodlum? He knocked her down you know there is quite a reward out for information leading to his arrest."
"I saw him" I stammered, "I saw him drop her handbag in the beck," he smiled at me, "she will be pleased there where some photographs in there that were very dear to her, I will ring her now and then we can go down to the beck and see if the bag is still there."
"I... I'll meet you down there; it's the little foot bridge at the head of the valley park."
"You sure love; if you wait I can give you a lift down in the van."
"No. No I'm sure"
I quickly made my way to the beck, around the corner onto Abbot's Way, along the road to the ginnel through onto Parkside Close. Then across the road to the path that ran across the top of the Valley Park, I got to the little bridge and plunged off the path and down the little path that kids always make to water, I grabbed a branch off the ground and poked around in the undergrowth carefully avoiding the brackish water, come on, its got to be here, please. There it was in the shadow of the bridge in a patch of dead nettles, I grabbed for it cursing under my breath I had managed to get mud on my dress, thank you, thank you, thank you, I struggled to the top of the bank I fished one of the pictures out of the bottom of the handbag, my brain turned to mush, I crumpled to my knees oh my god its me. The girl in the pictures was me.
The next thing that I remember was waking up to find strong hands lifting me up. I was carried to the path and seated on one of those memorial benches that dot the countryside, "Are you alright love?"
"I... I th... I think so, wh... what happened to me?" I whispered.
"I dunno love you were lying on the ground when I walked past, I thought you'd been attacked, but the old man there thinks you might have fainted from shock." I looked up from the ground expecting to see the man from the shop, but it was a stranger, he appeared to be wearing an old tatty dressing gown, in fact he looked like a wizard. He came over to me; the young man stood up and moved away, "Well Heidi, I would suggest you don't mug any more old ladies. You never know what might happen to you next time" He winked and walked off to be replaced by the man from the shop who restrained me from trying to rise, "Easy now love, your Gran is here." That got through my confusion
"Yeah it was her bag you found she says you ran away from home when your mum died, she thought you where dead."
"Come on love I'll give both of you a lift home you'll have a lot to catch up on."
"Home?... Gran?" I realized that I was starting to repeat myself "I don't understand..."
"Heidi Love I have been so worried about you, when you didn't come home from the funeral, I thought you had gone and done something silly, where have you been. It's been 18 months..."
Three months later...
I don't suppose I will ever know what happened, I am now starting at the local college so that I can get some qualifications, I spent quite some time for the first few weeks trying to work out who I was, I had only the vaguest recollection of Heidi before I robbed an old lady, but mixed up in that is another person called Henry, I didn't know what to think, the doctors were also confused for someone who had been on the run for 18 months I was in perfect health, I was even still a virgin I was embarrassed to find out.
And I would have loved to ask the man in the dingy green dressing gown what he knew about it but he of course disappeared, neither the man from the shop nor the young man who had picked me up remembered him. I did however find out I have a ready-made family Gran of course but also two aunts, an uncle and numerous cousins. I am happy for the first time in, well ages.
I come from northern England and I hope the Spells R Us shop visits northern England, the idea for this story comes from all those adverts that boldly proclaim to make to the user look better, this soap is a little better than the normal stuff.
The characters portrayed in this story are not intended to portray real people in any way but if they do please tell me how to contact the Wizard 'cos I'm completely out of soap. ;-)
This Document cannot be published without my permission in any place other than those I submit it to. The original will be available from my website if I ever finish it. :-P (will probably be www.incessant-logic.net)
(c) JC & Incessant-Logic 2004
TG SRU bad boy to good girl magic transformation rated-M