Posted by: Admin on Sunday, March 21, 2004 - 06:11 PM 
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"I figured she was just some bimbo trying to run a scam on me, or trap me into something."
Headlights Girl
Chapter 7 & 8
by Cathy_t
Part 7
I won't bore you with the details of most of that second day, since there weren't any! I watched those damn tapes and soaked up the teachings they presented to my brain, without really thinking about it very much at all. Oh I stopped and had a bite to eat around noon or so, and there was a bathroom break or two, but you don't wanna know about them, right? Well, too bad! I'm not gonna TELL you! So there! (Giggle)
At around 3:30 or so, Eric came back to the house. I was just finishing up the last tape and he waited until I was done before speaking.
"Holly." he said, "You'd better hurry and get a shower. You're due at the salon in about an hour or so."
"SALON?!" I shrieked. "I'm going to a SALON?! I can't do that, Eric! I've never been in one of those places and I won't know how to act, or what to say or do!"
I jumped up out of the chair and stood, facing Eric.
"Can't this be put off til tomorrow or the next day? I know this might sound weird, but I'm really scared about this."
"Holly, Holly, Holly." He answered. "There's nothing to be concerned about. What you'll be getting today IS the ?full treatment', but there's no need for alarm. It'll merely be reinforcing what you've been learning from those tapes. Kind of like glueing it in place as it were. What'll be the upshot of it is, you'll kind of absorb every little thing that gets done to you today, integrating it with what's on those tapes. You'll remember it and be able to duplicate every single thing THEY do to you so weekly salon visits won't be a drain on your income. You'll only have to go back when you want to change something, either your hairdo, or something like that. Remember, you don't have to was, OR depilate anywhere on your body. The suit takes care of all that for you."
"Yeah, but Eric..." I started to reply, but he cut me off, saying,
"Look, Holly. Have I NOT been in that suit? Have I NOT experienced everything you can think of before you? Would I, after all of this, spring ANYTHING on you that I didn't think you needed to experience for your own good? Haven't you figured out yet, that I am NOT going to do anything TO you or FOR you that you don't need to know how to do?"
He paused for a second, gazing down into my eyes, then continued.
"Holly." He said firmly. "I have gone through every single thing that I am taking you through. It's done this way for a reason. The HEADLIGHTS people want every girl to be as convincing AND as relaxed and normal feeling in their roles, as is humanly possible. It's the best way for them to maintain their high standard of customer care and satisfaction, and it's the best way for every "girl" to maintain her looks and personality, not to mention her tip averages. Remember, the more you act like ?Holly', the more you ACT like ?Holly', the more comfortable Holly's regular customers will be at ease and tip accordingly. Holly, I swear to you, I am NEVER going to tell you to do something that isn't for your own good. Don't forget, you are also representing ME in that suit for the next three years or whatever. If you screw up, it'll come Back on ME and I have things to do in the foreseeable future that DON'T include bailing you out by having to take your place for whatever remains of your contract!"
Eric paused for breath and continued.
"That's the one thing I hadn't told you yet, as I'd hoped to wait and see if I'd HAVE to tell you. IF, for any reason you can't fulfill your contract, _I_ will be called back to serve out the remaining time! I didn't want to have to tell you that until you were more comfortable with being Holly, because I didn't want it to be a deciding factor in your taking the job and signing the contract. I didn't want you to feel obligated to me if you felt, at any time in the next three years, that you couldn't take it or do it anymore, and HAD to get out. I WOULD have told you at the end of this week, one way or the other, so you'd know how serious this is.
"For the next three years of your life, JIMMY, you are going to have to be TOTALLY Holly, ALL the time. There's no going back for anything less than a life or death emergency! You can't just decide that you've had enough and call it quits. Remember I told you that they have ways of ?locking' you into that suit? Well, they do, and they won't hesitate to do it if it's in their best interests to do it. It's only happened twice, that I know of, that someone has had to be called back to fill someone else's contract, but it HAS happened. Each time, the person who couldn't fill their contract was severely punished, financially and both of them ended up a lot worse off than they ever were before they started their contracts. I really can't say more than that. The management has ways of finding out things and if they learned that I had even told you THIS much, I could be punished to the tune of losing everything I've worked for these past three years."
I just stood there, looking at Eric through all of this. I'd known that this wasn't a ?lark', or something I could just stop doing for any less a reason than serious illness, or a family death, but I hadn't realized that Eric could be punished if I couldn't carry through with this! He'd been so kind and understanding and helpful to me through all I had been experiencing, all the new stuff I was learning and all the new things I was going through.
"NOW! Get moving, woman!" Eric suddenly shouted at me. "We have work to do! You gotta get ready for the salon. No excuses, young lady! Move it! Move it! MOVE it!" And he smacked me on my butt to hurry me along.
Well, I MOVED it! I scurried to the bathroom, undressed and got into the shower, keeping my hair dry, of course. I only stayed in there just long enough to get clean and then I grabbed a towel, wrapped myself up in it and scampered to the bedroom to get dressed.
At first I thought about just wearing a pair of jeans and a blouse, but then I thought about it and realized that if I did that, I'd be woefully underdressed when I came out after a makeover, so I decided on a knee length black skirt and an Ivory colored blouse with three quarter sleeves. Simple jewelry and just a dab of makeup completed the look and I stepped into a pair of low heeled pumps. Grabbing my purse and dumping in a few essentials, I hurried out to the kitchen area where Eric was waiting for me, tapping his foot impatiently.
"You women!" He said grumpily. "Always taking forever to get ready and ALWAYS at the last possible minute!"
I jabbed a finger at him in mock anger and said,
"Oh REALLY? Well, my dear, it wasn't THAT long ago that YOU were the "woman" in question, was it? I'll bet YOU were always late wherever you were going, now weren't you? Let's not be TOO judgmental, ok sweetie?"
Well, of course, we both broke up laughing and, after we wound down, he took me by the hand and looked into my eyes, saying quite seriously,
"You're going to do just fine as Holly, I know it. You're ALSO going to enjoy this session at a salon, being pampered and spoiled as a woman has a right to be, from time to time. This is something NO male can ever understand, this primping, pampering, painting and waxing that a woman claims, almost as a birthright. Well, today YOU are going to experience it for the first time in your life and, let me tell you, there's nothing like it. Additionally, when it's all finished, when all the makeup, facials, hair and all the rest is done, and you walk out of that salon looking like a couple of million dollars, PROUD of being who and what you are, well, there's no feeling like it in all the world. I can't even BEGIN to describe it to you, you're just going to have to experience it for yourself to know that I'm right."
"Well then what are we waiting for? Let's get going! Honestly! You MEN! Always talking and never really getting to any kind of a point! My goodness, Eric, you're going to make us late! Now, Move it, Move it, MOVE it!" I riposted.
He gave me one of THOSE looks. You know, those "What the hell?" looks, but then I reached out and smacked HIM on the butt and started to laugh again. He realized then, that I was still in a good mood and kidding him. He jumped to attention and saluted me, saying,
"Yes Ma'am! Right away, Ma'am!" And he did a military about face, marching toward the door. Once there, he stopped, smartly stepped aside and waited for me, while holding the door open for me. Once I exited, he stepped through the door, did another one of those about face things and locked the door. Then he did one more about face and, facing me said,
"Will you precede me to the vehicle Ma'am?"
I tried to maintain a stern expression, but finally I couldn't stand it any longer and I began to giggle.
"Okay, okay Eric. I give. Let's get giong so I can get pampered, painted and fussed over, like you said."
He also finally lost it and we laughed together as we walked to the Mustang. It was still a little odd to me that my rear end wanted to move from side to side the way it did, but I had been getting used to it, and I found it more than a little amusing that, when I glanced back at Eric, his gaze were firmly planted on my posterior. Apparently he was right about there being very few, if any, remaining female behaviors left over after a day or two out of the suit. Either that, or he was trying to remember what HIS posterior had looked like just two days earlier, when HE was wearing this thing!
He held the car door for me and assisted me into the little car, then climbed in the driver's side and started the car. The big V-8 rumbled into life and sounded so sweet. There's just something about the sound of a big V-8 that's sexy or something. I can't explain it, but it did the same things to me as Holy, that it did when I was Jimmy. Anyway, Eric put it in gear and we shot off toward the salon.
Neither of us talked much on the way there. It seemed that we were both absorbed in our thoughts. I know _I_ was. A lot had happened to me in the last two days and absorbing all of it was almost getting to be too much. My thoughts were somewhat scattered and more than a little apprehensive. COULD I do this? SHOULD I do this? Could I drop out of it and let Eric down? Could I actually LIVE for the next three years as a woman? Living, maybe even LOVING as one? What about my family? Would they "buy" my story, accounting for three years or more, mostly out of touch with them?
Before I even knew it, we were at the salon. Eric parked the car and got out, coming around to my side to assist me. He held the door for me again as we entered the salon and were greeted by a cheerful, smiling young woman whose name tag said she was "SHELLEY".
She pretty much ignored Eric and spoke directly to me, saying,
"Hi! It's so good to see you, Holly! Your chair and stylist are waiting for you like always. Just follow me and we can get you started." She then turned to Eric saying, "You can wait here for her, sir, or you can come back in a couple of hours. We should be done with her in about two hours if that's okay with you?" With that, she turned her back on Eric and, motioning to me to follow her, she walked off into the salon proper.
I looked at Eric and he had this ?amused' expression on his face.
"She didn't treat me that way the last time I was here, but then again, I didn't look like an ?Eric' then." He mused. "Go ahead, Holly. Enjoy this experience. For your information, and for future reference, Holly comes here all the time. She's, or rather YOU'RE a regular. Everyone her knows you and, if you search your memory, you'll find names to go with all the faces here. Have fun. I'm going to the sporting goods place across the road, and to schedule some needed maintenance on the Mustang. I'll be back in a couple of hours." He kissed me on the cheek and gave me a little push to get me started, then off he went, out the door, leaving me all alone inside this bastion of femininity.
Well, with some misgivings and more than a little resignation I turned and followed ?SHELLEY'. She led me to a chair near the back of the salon and got me seated. Then she turned to leave, saying,
"Now don't you worry a bit, honey. Nancy will be right with you and you KNOW what a Wizard with hair SHE is! By the time you leave here today, you'll look just like the beauty queen you really are, just like always! Have fun, hon! I'll see you when you leave." And off SHE went. ?Sheesh! People are walking away from me in DROVES today.' I thought.
Before I had time to try to follow THAT thought line any further, a woman walked up to the chair I was seated in and announced that she was ?NANCY' as is stated on HER name tag. Well, I began to search my memory, as Eric had suggested I do and, by God, I DID remember her! I mean, my Holly mind had memories of her...well, YOU know what I mean. Anyway, once THAT happened, a LOT of memories started to make themselves known to me. Before too many more seconds went by, I was ?remembering' many other visits to this salon and was actually anticipating, with great expectations, the results of this one. I knew the ?girls' here would do a great job on me and I began to relax.
Over the course of the next two hours, I was plucked, painted, primped, pampered and massaged to within an inch of my life and I LOVED every minute of it! For a little while there I was wondering to myself, ?Why didn't I ever do this before? This is WONDERFUL!' until it came crashing in on me that if I HAD done this before, I'd have been looked at as JUST a little bit on the odd side. Well, that made me giggle and then laugh out loud. Imagine! Coming here as JIMMY! Oh my God! And off I went, into gales of laughter. ?NANCY' asked me what was so funny, and that made me laugh all the more. For a few minutes there I couldn't talk at all, only hiccup with laughter. Finally, I calmed down enough to be able to tell her,
"Oh, nothing important, Nancy. It's just something that Eric told me when he left. I just GOT it and it's SO funny. Maybe someday I'll tell you about it."
(Author's note) I won't bother going into all the different processes that go on inside a salon. I'm sure your imaginations can supply MANY more details, than my ability to present them here, can. I also realize that MY own experiences in a salon have been a total of one, so any explanations _I_ could supply would only be those gathered from other stories, so....read on. Sorry.
It seemed like no time at all before I was pronounced ?finished' by Nancy and the other girls there. My makeup had been done to a T, my nails sanded, polished, finished and sealed, my hair doing things hair was NEVER intended to do, and I looked absolutely FABULOUS! I was completely captivated by the image I saw in the mirror, So much so that I almost forgot that I wasn't REALLY Holly! Thoughts of how all the men were just going to DROOL when they saw me, filled my head, and all the tips I'd be getting if I went to work looking this good!
I finally turned from the mirror and thanked Nancy and all the other girls there for all their work.
"You've really outdone yourself, Nancy!" I gushed. "You and your staff are the BEST!" Then I went over to her and hugged her as further thanks. I swept out to the lobby and settled my bill with ?SHELLEY' and added a huge tip. She said,
"Oh, Holly! You look just wonderful, of course, you always do anyway! Sometimes I don't know why you even bother coming here at all. You always look so youthful, so beautiful! It's like you never even AGE!" Then she leaned closer to me and whispered, "You're going to HAVE to tell me your secret someday, girl. I'd give ANYTHING to look as good as you always do."
Well, I cracked up again. I laughed so hard that tears came from my eyes. When I could finally se again, I noticed that Shelley had a kind of hurt look on her face. I quickly went to her and hugged her, assuring her that I wasn't laughing at her. I just felt so good about myself and what I was doing and how I looked right then that I HAD to laugh about it. It just felt so GOOD! Shelley finally understood that and she apologised for thinking that I was laughing at her. I told her,
"Shelley, my dear, don't EVER feel bad about the way you look. You are just GORGEOUS. I just know that you break hearts every time you go out, and any guy would have to consider himself lucky as hell to have you on his arm."
She smiled at me and I guess that meant we were friends still. I hugged her and right about then, Eric walked in. I saw him and disengaged myself from Shelley. I twirled for Eric, saying,
"Well, Eric, how do I look? Do I pass inspection?"
He pursed his lips, walked around me a couple of times, looking up and down my body, then he came right up and looked at my face closely. Then he backed off a couple of steps and shook his head, saying,
"Well, it's not bad. I guess it'll just have to do for now. Next time I expect MUCH better from you and the girls, okay Nancy?"
I was shocked! I couldn't believe what I was hearing!
""Eric!" I almost screamed at him. "What the hell do you think you're doing? I look wonderful and these women have worked SO hard and you're acting like they just whitewashed a fence, and BADLY at that! How DARE you insult them and ME like this!"
I was fuming! I couldn't believe that Eric could be so insulting and condescending! I was getting ready to give him some more grief when I noticed that Nancy and all the women were smiling at me. All of a sudden I got a sinking feeling in my stomach. I looked at Eric and he was smiling too! He looked back at me and said, in a loud voice,
"GOTCHA!" And then he started to laugh. I stood there, not knowing quite what to think What was going on NOW?
Finally Eric calmed down enough to talk to me and he said,
"It's okay, Holly. All the women here know about HEADLIGHTS and the girls who work there. This is an official outlet OF the HEADLIGHTS chain and all the girls come here to get their hair and makeup and other stuff done. They even know who _I_ am, or who I used to be, and they know that I was only teasing you, and them. I'm sorry if it caused you any concern. You just looked so pleased with yourself that I HAD to mess with you a little bit. Truthfully, you DO look incredible! It's easy to see that Nancy and her staff haven't lost their touch at all!"
Well, now I was embarrassed. To think that all these women KNEW that I was really a guy! Oh my God! I wanted to rush out of there, get back to the house, strip out of this damned suit and THROW it at Eric. OH! I was mad! I tried to swing a punch at Eric, but he just caught my hand effortlessly and pulled me into a tight embrace so I couldn't even move. Embarrassment on top of embarrassment! I even punched like a girl, and Eric handled me with no effort at all!
Well, I fumed and struggled and screeched at Eric for a minute or so until it became apparent to me that I couldn't get loose or hurt him at all. Finally I calmed a little bit and I could hear him trying to get me to chill out.
"Holly. Holly! It was just a joke! I didn't mean anything by it. C'Mon! Calm DOWN!"
It took awhile, and it also took all the women in the place to finally convince me that everything was okay, but they finally did it. I still was convinced that this whole business with the suit was over and all I wanted to do was get out of it and call off the deal though.
Nancy looked really concerned and she looked at Eric and gave him a kind of nod. He tensed a little(I could feel that because he still hadn't let go of me)and then he said,
"EXTREME HOLLY, ON!"
Part 8
I remember hearing that phrase, EXTREME HOLLY, ON!, but I don't remember much of what happened after that until we got back to the house.
Eric has since told me that I calmed right down and acted like the real deal, pleased as punch about my experience at the salon. We got in the car and drove back to the house, accompanied by Nancy! Eric says that we talked about everything and nothing on the way back to the house and I was as charming a Holly as had ever been. I guess that the Jimmy part of me that was so angry, got temporarily buried by the extremely feminine Holly personality. At least that's what Eric says probably happened.
We entered the house and Eric got drinks for us all, while Nancy and I got settled in the living room. He brought us our drinks and we all sat down. Then he said,
EXTREME HOLLY, OFF"! And I remembered everything!
I just sat there for a second. I already knew that there was nothing I could do to Eric, at least physically. He was too much stronger than I and there was no point in even trying. I picked up my drink and glared at him and Nancy, though.
I took a sip, set the glass down and finally found it in me to speak.
"Eric, you son of a bitch! How could you set me up like that? I thought you were my friend and mentor in all this and you embarrassed me in front of all those people! Now they all KNOW that I'm really a guy under this damned suit! How COULD you? I'm going into the bathroom and I'm getting out of this damned suit right now! You can take your deal and SHOVE it! I don't care about your plans and dreams! You can be Holy until you DIE for all I care!" And I started to cry!
Eric waited until I ran down a bit and then he began to speak.
"Look, Holly. I know you're upset as all hell right now, and I don't blame you. I was trying to be funny and, at the same time, to let you know that we were in a ?safe' environment. After everything went so well today, I thought you would be a receptive mood and take things the way they were meant. I had NO intention of embarrassing you at all, I want to make THAT abundantly clear. I have nothing to gain if you back out of this deal, and everything to lose. As much as I loved being Holly, I DO have things to do, a life to catch up on, and I can't do that unless I have someone to take my place. I'm sorry if you took things the wrong way. I thought you were more ready than you obviously are. It's MY fault for assuming things. I promise you, it will never happen again."
Nancy got up from where she was sitting and came over to me. She sat down next to me and before I could get up, she hugged me.
"Please Holly, reconsider? I've known Eric for three years and he isn't a bad person at all. I know he never intended to hurt your feelings or embarrass you at all. Everyone at that salon today was an employee of the HEADLIGHTS GIRL conglomerate, and we all knew BEFORE you ever came in that you were the new Holly. We knew that you're a guy under all that and we don't CARE about that! Hell girl, MOST of us are really guys! I am!"
Well, I damn near dropped my drink! Nancy was a guy? Most of those ?women' at the salon were guys? Now, I knew that SOME of the employees at the club were guys, but I DIDN'T know that MOST of them were! At least I didn't remember Eric telling me that. Okay. NOW I had to think.
Was I really mad at Eric and Nancy? Was it because I was embarrassed by them? WAS I embarrassed by them or was I embarrassed by my OWN feelings and doubts? Okay, I DID have my doubts, my fears of being ?discovered' masquerading as a beautiful woman. Hell, who wouldn't? Even though I knew that I was completely indetectable as male while I wore the suit, I was STILL afraid that someone would tumble to my secret and make me look like a complete fool or worse, some kind of pervert!
Plus, there was something inside me that was telling me that what I was doing was wrong. I didn't know what it was back then, but I know, now. It was that thing that gets practically beaten into every man from the time he's old enough to understand human speech. "You're a MAN, and you have to ACT like a man! Trying to act like a woman is weak and soft and WRONG! Men are good, women are BAD! If you ARE a man, and you try to pretend to BE a woman, you're a FAG, a PERVERT, a QUEER! And the way we deal with "those" kinds of people is, we beat them up, we embarrass them, we expose them for what they are and then kill them, if necessary!
Oh, honey, I know! I know those things are wrong, TERRIBLY wrong, but THAT'S what was haunting me, then. See, I didn't know about Transsexuals or Transvestites or any of that stuff, then. I only had ever heard about fags and queers and perverts. Oh sure, I'd watched, in horrified terror, the cartoon "Queens" that paraded up and down the stage on the Jerry Springer show, but I DIDN'T know that THEY were not the usual TS or TV. They were the lunatic fringe of those kinds of people, or they were actors PAID to act the way they did on that show.
So you can understand, I hope, the state my mind was in back then. I've learned a lot in these last two years or so, and I know now that what I was thinking back then, was wrong. Looking back, I think THAT'S the reason I reacted so badly to Eric's attempted joke. That's why I was so frightened and ready to ditch that suit and all it meant.
So, anyway, Nancy was hugging me and telling me that everything was really okay, but it wasn't working. I couldn't get past the part where she had said that SHE was a guy, too, and now she was hugging me? Trying to console me? NO!
I jumped up off that chair like it was on fire and RAN into the bedroom, screaming. Eric tried to stop me, but I managed to dodge around him and I slammed that door behind me, locking it. Again, looking back, it's only a matter of chance that I went to the bedroom and not to the bathroom. If I'd made it to the bathroom, I would've drawn the tub full of hot water and soaked myself right out of this suit, and right out of the most fascinating, satisfying and profitable years of my life. As it was, I was locked into the bedroom, screaming and crying. Eric and Nancy tried to get me to come out, but I wouldn't. I couldn't face them. I couldn't face myself! I methodically broke every mirror in the bedroom, even the little ones in compacts of makeup. I couldn't bear to look at myself.
Finally, after I had been freaking out in that bedroom for maybe a half hour, I heard Eric calling to me saying,
"Look, JIMMY! If you don't come out of there and talk to me, I'm going to have to use that command phrase and make you come out against your will. Now I don't want to do that, but you're leaving me no choice. If you still want to call this off after we talk, I'll understand. I'll be disappointed, and it'll mess up my plans for the rest of my life, but I WON'T force you into staying Holly if you really don't WANT to. We DO have to talk first though, okay? Nancy is going to leave if you want her to, but I really think you need to talk to her too. I'm going to give you five minutes to get yourself together and then I'm going to have to make you come out whether you want to or not, understood?"
Well, I had no choice, did I? Either I came out of my own accord, or Eric was gonna MAKE me come out. Of the two, I figured that of my own free will was the better choice. I took several deep breaths, got myself more or less together, and unlocked and opened the door. There was no one there, and when I ventured down the hall to the living room area, there were Eric and Nancy sitting on the couch. They looked at me and I looked at them. For a second or two, nobody said anything.
Then Nancy got up, slowly. She said,
"JIMMY, I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you and I'm not laughing at you. I would never do that. I know you're thinking some awful things right now, and I feel like some of that is my fault. I'll leave if you want me to, but I'd rather stay and try to help you with this. Which do you want me to do?"
She made no move towards me and the look on her face was one of sympathy and sorrow. Eric hadn't even moved or said anything yet. I stood there and I thought. Well, they SAID they just wanted to talk and the final decision was my choice. Despite what I thought Eric and Nancy had tried to do to me that day, I still thought I could trust Eric to do what he said he'd do, so I went over to the chair opposite the couch and slowly sat down.
Nancy was still looking at me expectantly and I finally found enough of my voice to say to her,
"Sit down, Nancy. I'll agree to listen to what you two have to say, but you need to know that I want to call this whole deal off, right now. I'm sorry if that'll mess up your life, Eric, but you never told me about these feelings and you never told me about the salon. Maybe if you had told me, I might be seeing this a lot differently, but I'm not right now and I don't think there's anything you two can say that'll change my mind. You're welcome to try though, so have at it. Oh, one other thing. I don't want you to refer to me as anything but Jimmy or Jim for this conversation. If I hear ?Holly' one time, I'm done, and I don't give a shit about whether or not is messes up any programming. Understood?"
Eric looked directly at me and said, slowly and clearly,
"Understood Jim, but please don't fly off the handle again if one of us slips up and calls you H..., sorry. If one of us calls you by that other name. Looking the way you do right now it's hard for me to remember that you aren't really her, okay?"
"Okay" I answered.
Nancy sat down, and Eric asked us if we wanted new drinks before we started. Well, I said, "hell YES I want a drink!" and Nancy said she'd have one too. I told Eric to make mine a double or maybe even a triple, as I figured I was going to need it to bolster my nerve. So Eric went to fix the drinks and Nancy and I sat there, opposite one another. I couldn't look at her directly, but out of the side of my vision I could see her looking at me with a look of concern on her face. She didn't speak at all until after Eric came back with our drinks.
He sat mine down on the coffee table, within my grasp, and backed up to sit on the couch with Nancy, making no other move in my direction. I leaned over and grabbed the glass and slugged about half of it down all at once. It burned, but it helped clear my mind a bit. I sat back with the glass in my hand and said,
"So talk. I'm listening, but this had better be REALLY good or I am outta here!"
And talk they did. They told me all about Transsexuals and Transvestites, about gays and lesbians, about a lot of things I had never heard of before then. They said that they understood what I might be feeling about those things, and then they asked me to tell THEM about my thoughts. So I did.
I told them about feeling guilty and unmanly doing this. I told them about my fears and doubts and I told them about what I had always been told, grew up believing, about TGs and TVs and TSs and queers and fags. I told them how I felt like a pervert doing this and about being scared of being found out and exposed and embarrassed.
Eric held up his hand at that point and said,
?Wow. Okay, that's a load of guilt you've been carrying around for a lot of years and I now understand why you freaked out today at the salon and back here. First of all, let me address the "being found out and exposed part. You should know by now that there is no WAY for anyone to EVER find out who you really are under that suit, Jim. It makes you absolutely indistinquishable from any real woman in the world with the exception being that you can't get pregnant in it. Every movement, every mannerism, every possible way for anyone to tell that you're not a real woman is covered, either by the stuff built into the suit, or by the stuff on the tapes. YOU never tumbled to the fact that _I_ wasn't a real woman until I TOLD you, and even then you didn't REALLY believe me until I SHOWED you by taking off the suit, right? Well, if YOU couldn't tell, what makes you think that anyone else could? The answer is.....they can't. NO one can. The suits are so perfect that even a DOCTOR can't tell, Nancy can tell you that and Nancy should know, because she IS or WAS a doctor!"
Well now, THAT was a shocker to me. I looked at Nancy and she nodded in the affirmative. She said,
"Yes, H...I mean Jim. I was a doctor, a long time ago. The pressure of people depending on me every day, to save their lives, to patch up broken and shattered people, got to be too much for me and I had a breakdown. I was at the club one night, trying to figure out what I was going to do with the rest of my life when I met one of the ?girls'. Her name was Nancy. I think she saw that I was at the end of my rope and she invited me to come home with her after her shift was over. Well, to make a long story short, I went, and she explained to me, after a long steamy evening about who and what she really was."
Nancy took a sip from her drink and continued.
"Like you, I couldn't believe what she was saying. I figured she was just some bimbo trying to run a scam on me, or trap me into something. Well, she was near the end of her contract, her second one, by the way, and she wanted out to resume her old life, so she asked me the same things I'm sure that Eric here, asked you. She gave me the whole story and asked me if I wanted to "take over for her". Well, I figured I'd humor this poor deluded girl and I said ?Sure, Honey. Whatever you say.' I even humored her to the point where I gave her an impromptu gynecological exam, right there on her bed. She sure looked real, and GOOD, to me."
"Wait a second here, WAIT a second!" I broke in. YOU were a doctor? I mean a real, "pass the scalpel, suction here, retractor there," kind of doctor?"
"Yes, Jim," she responded. "I was. I had even done some SRS, that's Sexual Reassignment Surgery to you, on at least four Transsexuals. Jim, in the time I was a doctor, I saw EVERY kind of human misery there is. I saw it every damn day! It just got to be too much for me and I, well, I just lost it. Kind of the way you did today only much worse, in it's own way. I lost a patient I should have been able to save, because I was so lost in my own misery and pain, and I didn't pay enough attention to symptoms I had seen a dozen times before. As a result, a young woman with a family died. Some kids had to grow up without a Mom. A husband had to go on with his life without the love of his life, because of my error. So I just quit, that very day. I walked out of the hospital and never returned. I lost touch with all my friends, my family, my life. I drank myself into a stupor and was ready to end it all that night I met Nancy."
She stopped for a minute, sipping from her drink, trembling, seemingly on the verge of tears. Eric looked like HE was ready to cry as well. I just sat there, hardly believing what I was hearing. This thing just got more unbelievable the further I went into it!
Finally Nancy seemed to get some control back and started to speak again.
"SO," she said, "Nancy shed her suit that night after calling in to the club and arranging for the week off. I still didn't believe a word of what she had told me until that suit started to wrinkle up. Well, I didn't freak out when that happened, I'm proud to say. Maybe I should have, but I was too drunk and too apathetic to care much about it. I helped her out of the suit as I'm sure you helped Eric, and then I passed out. When I woke up the next morning with the mother of all hangovers, there was this guy in the kitchen, fixing breakfast. I asked him who the hell he was and he said, "Well, last night I was Nancy. Today I'm Brian. Don't you remember last night, and the bodysuit?" I didn't, of course, and he went back over that last night with me, and all he said he'd told me. I didn't believe a word of it, yet somehow, I WANTED to believe it, you know? As wild and crazy as it sounded, if it WAS true, it was maybe a way out for me. An escape from a life I had wanted to end anyway."
By this time, Nancy's drink was gone, and Eric got up to refresh it for her. I handed him my glass as well, and asked for a refill. In spite of myself, I was fascinated by this story and, as closely as it resembled my own experience, it was still interesting to hear it from another viewpoint. When Eric returned with the fresh drinks, Nancy continued.
"Well, as crazy as it sounded to me," Nancy went on. "and as apathetic as I was about my own life, taking over a different life sounded like just the ticket to me. Even if it turned out to be as much of a load of bullshit as I believed it to be, it would still be good for a laugh and I could still commit suicide whenever I wanted to, so I sat and listened to the whole story all over again, only this time I was sober. Brian talked me into trying out the suit and I did. The rest is pretty much history. That was ten years ago. I went from waitress, to dancer, to manager, to head of the salon in that time. I've never looked back, until tonight, and I've never regretted my decision. I'm Nancy now and forever, and I don't ever want to change that. I love my life now. I'm much more relaxed and in control of myself. I don't have life or death decisions to have to make anymore, and if I make a mistake, the worst that can happen is I'll ruin a hairstyle! Is it different, being a real woman? Well, yes and no. I still have two hands, two arms, two legs, a brain, so in that sense, no it's no different. It's more in the way I approach every day life, where the differences lie. I'm not going to go any further into that unless and until you make your decision tonight, and it HAS to be tonight. Eric will need all the time he can get to get back into that suit and get used to it all over again."
As I tried to digest everything I had heard, I glanced over at a clock on the wall. It read 8 o'clock! That meant that we had been back from the salon for over two and a half hours! Eric noticed my look at the clock and, checking his watch, he announced that he was hungry and was going to order out. We decided to go with that and placed our orders by phone, hopefully to be delivered in the next 30 minutes. In the meantime, it seemed like I had a decision to make.
Eric told me that he wanted to say a few more things before I made any decision, so I said, okay, go for it.
"Okay, Jim. Here's the deal. I made you a lot of promises when this all started, and I followed through, so far, on almost all of them. I screwed up today, I'll admit that, but I really thought you were getting used to the suit and the thought of being Holly for the next three years. I also overestimated your resolve, and I didn't have any idea that you felt some of the things you have told us about tonight. So here's the deal, a new deal. If you decide to do this, you decide tonight before we go to bed. Like Nancy said, if you don't decide to do this, I'm going to need all the time I can get to get used to the suit again AND to change a LOT of plans I had already set in motion. Now. If you DO decide to do this, I'll make you an alternate deal. The original deal was for three years. If, after ONE year, you decide you can't handle it anymore, I will come back and finish out your contract. I'll of course keep any money that Holly makes from that point on, and you get to bow out with whatever you've managed to put away. I'll clear it with Management, but I'm certain they'll agree to this, especially if Nancy here backs me up on it, but this is all I can or will do, Jim. So you think about it while we wait for our food, and while we eat, and right up until we go to bed tonight. No more talking from me or Nancy about it. We've said everything we can think of to say. The ball is in your court now. Serve, or get off the court, it's as simple as that. I'm not mad at you, Jim. Just a little disappointed in you and lot disappointed about the rest of MY life that I'll have to change if you don't do this."
He stood up and walked back to the couch and sat down next to Nancy. I didn't know what to do or what to say. I'd had a LOT thrown at me in a very short time, and my head was spinning from that, and from the idea of spending a year, or three years, as a woman. Strangely, the booze I'd been pouring down my throat didn't seem to be having much, if any, effect on me at all. I mentioned this to Eric and he said,
"Don't you remember? The suit has a direct effect on your health, and that includes normally poisonous substances like alcohol. It, the suit that is, tends to neutralize most poisons, or lessen their effect on you. You could, theoretically, drink all night and not get more than a slight buzz on. An interesting little plus, don't you agree? Makes it real difficult for some guy or gal to try to get you drunk and take advantage of you.
While I was pondering THAT little tidbit of information, the doorbell went off. Eric answered it and it was our food. He paid the delivery guy and we all sat down at the table in the kitchen to eat.
By the time I had finished, I was feeling considerably better. Hunger makes you cranky sometimes. I had been thinking, all the time we'd been eating. I realized that a lot of my fears had been addressed and satisfied. A lot of my doubts and misinformation had been set right in our conversation that evening. I guess I always knew that I WAS going to do this, regardless of what I had gone through that day. I'd promised that I would, and if my life had taught me anything it was that, once you promised something, you did it, or you came up with a DAMN good reason why you didn't do it. So, even with my freaking out act, it didn't alter the fact that I had promised Eric I'd do this. My cover story was all set with my family and my few friends, and it seemed that it had been accepted by them.
I got up from the table and went into the living room to sit down for a few more minutes alone before announcing my decision. I knew I still had the time between then and the time we went to bed, but I also knew that Nancy had to go home, and Eric would have to drive her. I also knew that she would want to hear my decision. By the time Eric and Nancy came into the living room, I was pretty much ready.
After they sat down and got comfortable, I cleared my throat and announced my decision.
to be continued
The suspense continues! Stay tuned for part 9! Ain't I a bitch? Hehehehehe.
Note: TG Body Suits Deals, Bets or Dares Mind Altered, Hypnosis, Brainwashed Rated-M Read Part 1. 2. 3 & 4. 5 & 6. 7 & 8. 9 & 10. |
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