Sam I Am -2- "Nobody Told Me" :: BigCloset Classic :: BigCloset TG Stories <br /> June 2001 to November 2004

Nobody told me...

Sam
I Am

Part 2

by Sherilynne Amber MacDonald

From Her Diary - Part 2

Page 121

I haven't written in here for awhile, maybe I'll start again.

They took the cast off my arm. It aches like it's dead and I'll have to go to theraby for it now, too. I've even got a little scar where a piece of bone stuck out, right in front of my elbow on the underside. It's hard to see there, especially for me. My little brother, Gary, laughed like he'd puke when he saw me trying to look at the scar.

Well, he's Sheri's little brother, he's about my age. That's eight, I mean. He thinks I'm Sheri too. He teases me something awful and some of it is really funny, cause I'm not really Sheri and when he tells me that I should wear earplugs to keep the wind from making such an awful whistling noise blowing through my head--well, I just smile at him and say, "Gary, you're funny...looking."

He's a good kid and I never had a brother. I don't think I did. I'm going to adopt Gary as my brother. But it's sure odd being the big sister.

Page 120

I thought I was bleeding to death, okay. Everybody made a big deal of me not knowing about periods. Well, I didn't. Nobody told me. I thought Sheri had been worse hurt than even the docotors knew and now I would die again.

It made me feel like an idiot. Mommy says this happens every month and I should know when it's going to happen, either by the calendar or just by the way I feel. I feel pretty cruddy, kind of like I ate something bad and someone kicked me in the stomack so I could puke it up and sort of like I just found a dead baby bird. I told that to Mommy and she said, that was exactly how she felt, too.

And now I have to wear this think like a diaper but it only covers my vagina and it goes inside my underpants. I just learned that word, not underpants, vagina. Boys have penises and girls have vaginas. It sounds like one of those countries where they have all the earthkakes and dicataters.

And penis, I think he played for the Angels last year. Bobby Penis. Now I've got the giggles and I think I'm going to be sick. Don't laugh so much when you're bleeding, it hurts.

Page 119

I wish I could die and be done with it.

Page 118

No, I don't. That was just because I had to go to phizycal theraby and it made my arm hurt and I've got my period so I feel cruddy anyway. Bleah. That's kind of fun to say. Bleah. Not as much fun to write though.

Mommy said I should go shopping to cheer me up and I go, "huh?" Cause that is like the dumbest thing I had ever heard. "Shopping for what?" I asked her.

She's like, "Not shopping for something, just Shopping," and I could hear the catapult letter this time.

"Okay," I'm like, "it's got to be better than watching dumb old TV with my dumb little brother." But Gary didn't hear me cause he was watching cartoons. I still like cartoons but I just didn't feel like watching them then, so I went Shopping with Mommy. Sheri's mom, but I'm Sheri now so she's my mom.

I like her. She's so pretty, she's like a movie star and I guess Sheri will look like her when I grow up. That is so weird.

Page 117

I'd finally had to tell everyone that things look backward to me so Mommy was all worried that I had brain damage and would have to go to class with Special Ed. So besides phizycal theraby and head theraby I had to go to the psickyatriss this week and she said that my brain was fine. They took pictures with noisy magnets, I didn't know you could do that.

I think she knows there were things I didn't tell her, like that I'm not really Sheri, but who needs that kind of hassle, I had enough of that in the hospital. I don't even mention it to my regular head therabus any more. But the new doctor said that I'm lucky I'm not really stupid or blind from the bad drugs that whoever gave me. She almost scared the pee out of me. I mean, really, I'm already bleeding down there and she tells me this stuff and I thought I had peed on myself.

Page 116

I'm never sure I've got myself dry anyway and with the napkin (that's a stupid name for it!) down there it's even worse. When you've got a vagina instead of a penis, you have to wipe yourself and you want to wipe front to back so you don't, well, you just do. It's really icky to think of doing it the other way once Mommy explained why.

But this psykatrist doctor told me that sooner or later my brain would probably figure out that things aren't really backward and that I'd be seeing stuff right way round. "You mean this has happened to other people?" I asked her.

"Probably," she goes, meaning she didn't know, grownups won't ever say they don't know something. "But the brain is very mysterious and powerful and you just have to learn how to see things right again."

I didn't tell her that I'm getting better at reading backwards writing, already. It gives me a headache, though.

Note: TG magic transmigration age progression child to teen rated-M
Part 4. 3. 2. 1.