Posted by: Andra on Monday, January 19, 2004 - 09:35 PM 
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A family saga by a new author...
Sins of the Fathers
by Andra
This is a story which looks at family dynamics and how people get to act as they do, which is a big concern for me. I plan to take the story from before Bryan/Brenda's birth to his early 40s. The first part is about our hero(ine)'s mother, Mary -- written from her viewpoint. It shows why she sees it as necessary and logical to sissify her son, but it contains minimal TG content. It has a bit of disturbing violence and some sex, but does not dwell on either.
1. How Bryan was born
The car was pulling up and mom had dinner about ready, so it was time to take cover in my room. It was the safest place. I could close the door and play some records and maybe not hear it.
The door's slamming! Oh God, it's happening again. I'd better turn the record player down so he doesn't come in here. What was that? A dish breaking maybe. Mom's running down the hall. Not in here!
"Give me your desk chair!" She puts it under the door handle. He tries to open it.
He pounds on the door. "Let me in, you bitch!"
"Not in front of Mary, please." She is crying and I see her cheek is red. She is shaking.
He kicks the door. His foot comes through. It's stuck; maybe he'll stop. He wrenches it out. I see the splinters biting into it. "Ahhggh! You bitch. You'll pay." Thud. Thud. Thud. The door breaks in the middle.
Mom is white. God she's wetting herself!
He's shoving the chair out of the way. He's in. Crash - my record player! I'm crying - hiding behind my bed. Mom isn't saying anything.
"You pissed yourself, you bitch!" He hits her again and drags her out, stepping on my records. He is twisting her arm. Mom screams...
That night I leave. I'm 16 and have $83.37 from babysitting in the envelope under my mattress. I take Bryan's Boy Scout pack and stuff clothes in it. He knew I was leaving when I saved $100, and he said I could take his pack and sleeping bag. I kiss him goodbye and we both cry, but he understands. "I'll write. Make sure you get the mail before dad gets home."
I've thought about it. If I take the bus someone will remember me. So I cut my hair like the Beatles and put on a pair of Bryan's jeans and a flannel shirt and go down to the riverfront to hop a barge. Too many people, so I don't see how. There's a slow freight on the track behind me. I get on it. I wake up in Iowa when the sun comes up.
I jump off as the freight picks up speed and sprain my ankle. I hobble up the bluff to a truck stop on route 6: Frank's. I have three eggs, ham and potatoes and coffee for $1.95. There is a sign "Dishwasher wanted." I tell Frank my name is Marvin and I am 18. He tells me he can pay me more if it is off the books: 5 hours a day, 6 days a week for $37.50 and meals. I agree. I am rich.
Across the road is Louise's Motel. Rooms are $7.50 a night. Suddenly, I am poor again. In the morning I talk to Louise. She makes me as a girl, but promises not to tell. I offer to clean rooms for my rent, and she'll cut the rent to $20.00 a week if I help with the cleaning. She also tells me to be careful with Frank, as he has gotten two waitresses pregnant. I am 16 and set up in life.
When I settle in I learn that a couple of the waitresses make a little extra after hours out in Frank's parking lot with the truckers. Also, Louise has a guy who stays over with her a couple of times a week, as he is going back and forth between Cheyenne and Chicago, where he has a wife. This is very different from the way things were in St. Louis. The nuns would not approve, but nobody is getting beaten up. I like Louise and the girls, but I don't want to wind up pregnant. Still, my imagination is starting to churn and I ask the girls about guys. They are wise to me, and tell me things that would make my mom blush. Well, I think they would.
Louise is starting to treat me like a niece. She asks me what I know about guys and tells me about condoms and pills. I tell her I am a virgin and plan to stay that way, but she puts a couple of rubbers in my wallet -- "Just in case." (I am still a guy across the street for Frank and the cooks.) She tells me it would look funny for a guy not to have a rubber in his wallet.
After a month I am promoted to busboy, and get more hours and a big raise: $50 a week. Well, I do the math and it isn't a raise after all, but it is more money, and the girls give me part of their tips: fat city -- $60 most weeks.
In a while I can pay to bring Bryan up. I've been writing to him. Dad is still beating up mom, but leaves him pretty much alone. So, Bryan wants me to bring mom up first. It makes sense, but I know she won't come alone. Bryan will have to bring her.
One of the regulars always smiles at me and presses a tip into my hand when I clean up his table. Sandy, one of the waitresses, tells me he likes boys and I could make some money if I played along and went out to his truck after my shift. I gag thinking about it. Not my thing!
Meanwhile Louise's son, Eddy has come home from grad school for Christmas. He is CUTE. Of course, he knows I am a girl, and he is very nice to me. He asks me out to the movies, but wants me look like a girl and wear a skirt. I wear one of my old plaid uniform skirts, Mary Janes and ankle socks.
We sit in the back and he feels me up. I resist at first, but I think about the girls in the lot with the truckers and I get hot. I have my first orgasm with a boy. Now I understand. Eddy wants me to touch him, but I don't know how to do it right, so he is very frustrated by the time we leave. He calls me a tease. I tell him I never touched a boy before and don't know how. He shows me how and spurts on my skirt. He tells me he loves me. I like him too. It is nice to make someone happy. I decide to spend more time with boys, but maybe wear an apron.
Meanwhile, I have been saving and have almost $400 with the money I started with. I write Bryan to bring Mom up at Christmas and send him $150 in cash.
Christmas eve and I am so happy, mom and Bryan are coming and leaving the asshole in St. Louis. The bus comes, but they are not on it. I wait for the next one at 12:30 Christmas morning. They aren't on it, either. In the morning I call Phyllis, Bryan's girlfriend. She is crying. My fucking dad ran a light near Forest Park and killed them all. That is all she knows. Maybe he found out. Maybe it is my fault.
I go down for the funeral and stay in the house. In Bryan's room I find packed suitcases for him and mom - kicked in or stomped. There's money all over the floor. I pick it up -- my $150. Dad found out. Son of a bitch -- fuck him!
My grandmother comes and hugs me and then yells at me for running away and upsetting my dad. She doesn't want to hear about anything. She tells me that I am going live with her and granddad. He is as bad as dad, plus he drinks. I tell her that I want to stay in the house one more night and to come and get me in the morning. In the morning I am in Iowa again. I call and tell her I will come back when I am 18 and can live alone.
I am crying and Eddy comes to my room. He is holding me, rubbing me. Then he is kissing me and on top of me. It feels so good. He takes my blouse off. In a bit, I am naked. "No!" but he is in me. It hurts just a little then I feel like a woman. I feel him pulsing in me as he tells me he loves me. I want to believe him. He stays all night.
In the morning, I am sore. Frank thinks I am still at the funeral, so I don't have to go to work. Louise invites me to breakfast with her and Eddy. She knows we did it. She asks if we used the rubber. I told her we forgot. She says she hopes I will not have a "little problem." Eddy says it does not matter as he loves me and if we need to he will marry me. I believe him and feel loved. Maybe some men are ok.
Eddy and I stay together in my room the rest of his vacation. I feel married. I make him coffee every morning like a wife and imagine he is going off to work when he goes back to school. Of course we are careful the rest of the time -- Louise insists and gives us a box of condoms "as a wedding present."
When Eddy leaves I go back to work -- as Marvin, but I sure don't feel like a Marvin. It's different after you have had sex with a boy. At the end of January I miss my period and Louise sends me to the doctor. He tells me the rabbit died and I am going to have a baby. I am so happy. Eddy told me he will marry me and I already feel like his wife. I call him and tell him. This is wonderful, our own baby! I don't remember what he said.
The next day Louise comes and tells me that she will pay for an abortion. No one will know. I stare at her like she is crazy. "Kill my baby? Kill Eddy's baby? Are you fucking nuts?"
"Eddy is not ready to have a baby and get married. He called and asked me to help you with it."
Oh.
I call Eddy at school again. They tell me he is not there. For a week he is not there. I am dense, but I get it.
I go and talk to Louise. She tells me men like sex, but marrying is something else. She says with abortions, women can be just like men about sex. I don't want to be like a man -- who would? And I sure don't want to be a murderer. I am beginning to get the whole sex and sin bit. It is not just a rule. It makes sense. I go to confession and feel better, then get morning sick.
In a couple of months I am showing and even Frank makes me. He seems okay about it. Sandy goes out on break with a trucker and does not come back. Frank gives me her job. I wear a dress and get teased by the regulars. The guy who likes boys gives me dirty looks. I wonder what he would have done if I had played along?
In May Eddy is home. He got a draft notice. Now he wants to marry me. The baby will keep him out of Nam. Now he loves me again. He says he made a mistake. I tell him he sure did and he can go to Canada. He says real men don't run away. "Just from girls they knock up and their kids? You son of a bitch!" Fuck him!
In July, I quit Frank's. I am looking like a cow and getting around the tables is a problem. Frank tells me I can come back when I am ready, but he has a funny look in his eye and has been touching me "by accident." Funny how he was not half as klutzy when I was a busboy.
Louise and the girls from Frank's give me a baby shower. I tell them I want a girl not a fucking boy, so they give the baby some really darling dresses baby.
Louise has been sending me to the doctor and pays for the baby. Maybe God has to punish me for not staying a virgin, so I get a boy in August. I name him after the only nice boy I ever knew, Bryan. He looks just like a girl in the dresses we got at the shower. Babies don't care what they wear and he looks like a beautiful doll!
In November, Louise gets a visit from some Army guys. She is crying when they leave. Eddy was killed in Nam. Fucking war! Fucking men!
Eddy left Louise his GI insurance. She gives it to me for Bryan. Her married guy from Chicago tells us to buy some stocks with it. So we go downtown and give the money to a broker.
I live with Louise. She teaches me how to take care of Bryan. She is sorry Eddy got me pregnant. She tells me Eddy was a really sweet toddler, but he got wild when he went to school. When he started running around with other boys, she couldn't control him anymore. She'd thought if he hooked up with me I could get him under control and he would be sweet again. She didn't know I was only 16 till we did Bryan's birth certificate.
She is a great cook and teaches me how to cook and sew clothes for Bryan and me. I love her. I help out more with the motel. I run the desk now. I smile and flirt, so a lot more guys are regulars and we almost never have a vacancy. Still, I don't trust guys.
When I turn 18, I go back to St. Louis. Grandma has the money from mom and dad's house in a trust for me. I get a duplex in Florissant -- two bedrooms and a bath on each side -- paid for -- a home and some money from the rent. Bryan and I are set if I stay away from fucking men.
Note: TG crossdress femdom sissify rated-M series
Part 1. 2. |
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