Posted by: Admin on Tuesday, June 10, 2003 - 01:05 AM
Starting your life over is hard to do...
Redux
by Joanne Foxcourt
Author's Note:
Shortly after the first version of this story was posted to the Internet, I received some incredibly good advice about what I was doing right and what I was doing wrong. I'm extremely grateful for that strong and detailed critique --- enough that I felt it completely necessary to revisit this story and try to make it better. Equally as important, I felt that too much was left dangling after the first attempt was done. Re-reading it, I found myself feeling dissatisfied in the way it ended. Thus, Audra: A New Life Redux. -- Joanne
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Don't forget to use your back button to come back here and leave a comment! -- Erin.
Editor's Note: If you haven't read the story of Aaron, whose parents have to make a life-changing decision after the boy is terribly wounded--this is one of the good ones. If you've already read the previous version of "A New Life", this one is better. If you've read Little Katie's "How Life Can Change" -- Joanne mentioned in the foreword to the first version that this story was inspired by Little Katie's and the resemblances in the beginning are intentional. -- Erin
Note: TG under-13 the operation force-fem accidental rated-g
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Re: Audra: A New Life Redux
(Score: 0)
by Guest Reader on Jun 10, 2003 - 08:35 AM
Joanne's original version was good but the rewritten version is almost excellent. A very good developement of the plot line with good descriptions and depth of character. And the end can bring a tear or three.
Re: Audra: A New Life Redux
(Score: 1)
by jennyn on Jun 10, 2003 - 08:54 AM
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Excellant rewrite.
I much prefer this version to the original and look forward to the continuing story.
lol jennifer
Re: Audra: A New Life Redux
(Score: 0)
by Guest Reader on Jun 10, 2003 - 11:47 AM
I agree with the others that the revised version is
far superior. The only thing that might have been
added--& it would have been difficult--is some
indication of why the super-macho father was so
defensive about masculinity. Clearly some hidden
insecurity there. But I'll admit that I can't see
any way of working it into the story smoothly...so
it's probably just as well omitted. Fine story,
good characterization, & Audra's reactions quite
believable.
.
--Pervette
I hadn't planned this re-write and I did hesitate to try it, but I think I made the right decision. Everyone who has given me feedback seems to believe it's a better story for the effort and that feels quite nice. I don't expect poor Aardvark to read it again though, he's suffered enough. :)
Anyways, this whole process has been a heck of a learning experience! I highly recommend it.
I wanted to see how it ended. Killer ending, Joanne. (Pun only partially intended.)
You did a terrific job with it, Joanne.
To all those out there: I'm flattered that she mentioned me, but Joanne took what I had to say (and others) and just ran with it. This rewrite is all Joanne.
Regards
Doug
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I'm glad you did! :o) Don't underestimate the value of your help. Honestly. I consider myself very lucky to have had it.
By the way, I've started my first Unity story. Only an itsy-bitsy way in, but I love writing in it already. I can't help it, I'm a computer geek at heart! Once I have something reasonably substantial, I'll send it off to you to have a look and make sure it fits the Unity model that you and Emma have put together. Don't feel that you have to proof (though that is always welcome), I just want to make sure I don't try to do something that is counter to what you both have in mind. If that's okay, of course.
*hugs*
Joanne
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Re: Audra: A New Life Redux
(Score: 1)
by Angel(angelohare@earthlink.net)
on Jun 11, 2003 - 01:24 AM
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Oh Joanne!
This has to be one of the finest stories I have read. The re-write you have done shows so much how writers do listen to what others say. This story has matured so much and has earned a five star rating in my opinion.
Huggles
Angel
Re: Audra: A New Life Redux (Score: 0) by Guest Reader on Jun 11, 2003 - 10:06 AM
Dear Joanne,
I just wanted you to know that I am crying as I write this. I havent read the previous versions and I dont really want to now. Please hurry with the next installment. The tears I am crying are helping me get in touch with my own HRT assisted transition which had recently seemed to stall. thanks for the kick in the butt to my emotions.
hugz
Jodi Lee Muhun
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