Day two, P.M.

This is another installment of the College Experiment. I am so happy to be sharing my creative talents with people again, you just can't know. It will be some time before another installment is done, maybe two weeks, as I have to travel out of state to take care of certain things. Please leave comments.

Patricia unloaded the car and went straight into the house, hoping that no one would see her the way she was dressed. Colleen followed right after and the two sat down on the living room couch.

"I don't know if I can go to this party," Patricia said with a somber look on her face.

"Why not? Come on, you'll have fun." Colleen tried to encourage her friend.

"I don't think I would have too much fun there, I just don't feel right about going."

"You did have fun shopping though, didn't you?"

"Yeah, I have to admit that it was a blast, and I really thank you for taking me, honest."

"Well what's so different about going to a mall than going to a party?"

"At the mall no one knew me--well, the real me. At the party people will know who I am and it would just make life terrible."

"Look," Colleen corrected, "at the mall that was the real you, we both know that. I could tell that by the end of the trip you forgot you ever were a boy."

"But, I am a boy. I mean I have the parts that are a boy and that's all that matters to people."

"Well, it's not. Listen no one will know it is you, I can barely tell and look how long I've known you. I know you are scared, but I will be with you the whole time and nothing will go wrong."

"But, what if it does?" Patricia asked.

"And what if it doesn't and you have the time of your life and really figure out what you are on the inside? Are you going to risk that, just over a little fear?"

"No, but you promise that you won't leave my side?"

"You know I wouldn't lie to you, now, let's get ready." Colleen instructed.

Patricia went up to her room; she kicked off her shoes and got out of her dress. Quickly she slinked into her black dress that she had just purchased; it looked better on her than she imagined. She looked at herself in the mirror and did a quick spin.

"Quit admiring yourself," Colleen laughed when she peeked in. "Come downstairs and I'll help you with your makeup."

"Okay," Patricia blushed and walked downstairs. She sat down on a chair in the kitchen and soon after Colleen appeared with the makeup. First she put on the foundation, using care not to overdo it. Then she had Patricia kiss out her lips so she could apply the lipstick. Following that some light blush and eye make-up and the ordeal was over quicker then Patricia imagined.

"Very subtle," Patricia said as she looked at herself in a makeup mirror.

"The trick is to try to look like you aren't wearing any," Colleen informed.

"Well, you should do this professionally." Patricia complimented.

"Well, you can give me a letter of reference. Now, lets go."

Patricia grabbed her new black pumps and put them on. She was amazed at how comfortable she felt. At the same time she also felt extremely nervous about the night's agenda. The two decided to walk to the party, since it was only two blocks away and they might drink a little.

They arrived a little after seven, the party already in full swing. One of the fraternities always threw a party on the weekend. The frat house was the center of college life this night and as Patricia and Colleen walked in the noise consumed them. They walked around a little bit, mostly trying to see who was there. Patricia was amazed that no one said anything, and after an hour of sticking close to her friend, she decided it would be okay to be on her own for a little while. She walked into the kitchen, where refreshments were being kept, and grabbed herself a wine cooler. Though there were plenty of beers laying around for the taking, Patricia had never been one to hold her liquor and a wine coller felt safer.

She walked back into the main room, and decided to sit down and watch people dance. It amazed her that even though she was outwardly different; she was still doing the same thing at a party. That was until Roy, a big lineman from the football team, sat next to her.

"Having fun?" He asked

"It's okay, I guess," Patricia replied.

"Want to dance?"

"Sure, why not, but I'm not that good."

"Neither am I," he smiled and took her by the hand.

The two got on the dance floor and did some awkward movements with each other. The funny thing was that no one noticed. Mostly because everyone else was doing awkward movements, too. After fifteen minutes of 'dancing' the two decided to call it quits before someone got hurt.

"Want to go somewhere to talk?" Roy asked.

"Sure."

"Good, follow me." Roy led her up the stairs and into a bedroom. Patricia paused in the hallway; she felt a little uncomfortable, but decided to follow him in anyway. After all it was just talking and there were a bunch of people around. Roy closed the door; Patricia made sure he didn't lock it.

Patricia sat on a chair and sipped on her wine cooler.

"Having fun now?" Roy asked.

"Well, it's been interesting." Patricia smiled.

"Well I know how to make it even more interesting."

"How's that?" Patricia laughed at the cheesy come-on line.

"How about you giving me a blow?" Roy said as he dropped his pants, keeping his penis a few inches away from her face.

"That's gross," Patricia said as she started to get up, only to be pushed back down with force.

"What's gross is a dude dressed up like a chick."

Patricia just looked up at him in shock.

"Don't think I don't know--we had math class together. And, if you don't want your little secret known to people then you best just do what I say. Besides you know you'll like it."

"You're sick, I don't care what you know, I ain't touching you for nothing." Patricia pushed him away and tore out of there as quick as she could. Before she knew it she was running down the stairs and out the door. She slowed down to a walk as soon as she reached the sidewalk; tears streamed down her face.

"Stupid jerk." She said as she slowly made her way up the block.

"Hey, wait up," a voice called from a few feet back.

"What?" she asked in a harsh tone, only half turning around.

"Are you okay?" a lanky guy with glasses asked as he caught up with her.

"Some guys can be such jerks."

"Yeah, I know. My name is Paul, what's yours?"

"Patricia," she said while she wiped her eyes with a tissue.

"Mind if I walk with you? I promise not to be a jerk." Paul said.

"I don't know what you're expecting, but I'm sure you will be highly disappointed."

"All I'm expecting is a little bit of a walk and maybe some pleasant conversation."

"Well, I can guarantee you the walk, anything more I can't make any promises."

"Gee, you sure are testy, what happened?"

"Some guy dropped his pants and expected me to do things. As if."

"Tell me who, I'll set him straight right now."

Patricia laughed, "He'll flatten you, but thanks for the offer."

"Phew, I'm glad you said that, I was afraid I'd have to get my butt whooped before you said stop."

"You don't look like the fighting type."

"No, I'm a lover," Paul winked and gave a nervous laugh.

"Is that why you are walking with me, hoping to find love?" Patricia asked flatly.

"Well, I was hoping to have a nice chat, and see what developed." Paul admitted.

"I hate to be a disappointment."

"Why would you be a disappointment?"

"Because I'm a guy." Patricia said and braced for whatever response would come.

"I already knew that."

"You did?" Patricia was shocked.

"Yeah, you are in an English class that I am a student assistant in."

"Oh, and how long were you going to let me go on pretending."

"I didn't think you were."

"Wait. You know I am a guy but you don't think I'm pretending to be a girl? That makes no sense."

"Well, what do you think you are on the inside, forget all about your physical body and what does your heart say you are?"

"My heart is totally confused, what do you think it says?"

"Well, I can't be impartial, I have a lot of facts that say you're a girl."

"Facts, what facts? And you can't use physical stuff because that was in your first question."

"Okay, that's easy. How about we go somewhere and I'll tell them to you?"

"You aren't going to try anything sick are you?" Patricia asked; even though she was eager to hear all these facts, she didn't want to set herself up for something.

"Not at all, just to the lakefront. It's nice and peaceful there, and we won't have to worry about people overhearing us and it's patrolled so you won't have to worry."

Patricia knew the place well, it was on campus and security checked it often to make sure people weren't getting too fresh with each other. She agreed and the two walked in silence for the next ten minutes until they reached it. They sat on a bench that overlooked the water and watched the shimmering of the moon reflected in the lake.

"Okay Sherlock, what are these great clues that you know?" Patricia cut to the chase.

"First off, you are comfortable with how you look and are dressed, I can tell. Usually you slump over and stare at the ground when you walk; like you are afraid if you make eye contact you might have to get to know someone. But tonight, you're confident, and I think I saw you smile when you walked into the party. It's a great smile by the way."

"That's not fair," Patricia objected, "That English class is in the morning, I slump because I'm tired. I don't talk to people in there because it's all dumb jocks and I don't feel like wasting my time. You need a better reason then that."

"Okay second, I've seen your writing for the class. You write like the other girls do, really focused on emotion and detail, not caught up on action. Even your penmanship is feminine in style, not crude like us guys."

"So because I am neat that makes me want to be a girl? And I am sure other guys write about stuff like I do. You aren't too convincing."

"Let me ask you a few things then, are you happier dressed up and acting like a girl?"

"I was until that jerk showed me his penis."

"Well, if it wasn't for him do you think you would have any doubt in your mind about wanting to be a girl?"

"I don't know." Patricia was starting to feel more confused at what she was doing and why.

"Let me ask you this, if I could give you a pill that would make you a girl permanently, would you take it?"

Patricia thought for a few moments, going over things in her head, figuring out the true answer. "I suppose," she finally said.

"Then why fight it? It's obvious to me that you were meant to be a girl."

"Why do you care anyway, what's in it for you?" Patricia questioned, trying to turn the tables.

"Maybe a friend, maybe something more, I don't know, I tend to take things slow."

"So you hope that you would be my boyfriend or something?"

"In time, maybe."

"Even though you know that I'm a girl with a penis."

"I don't see why that would get in the way; you've intrigued me for a while. I was just waiting for you to figure out you're a girl."

"So--you're like gay?" Patricia asked.

"No, not really. You are a girl, you said so yourself."

"And what do you get out of it? I mean, why am I so intriguing?"

"Well, you're cute as all get out," Paul said. "You're very witty and kind-hearted too, when you let people see that side of you. You're also very sweet and I would be a fool to not try to have some kind of relationship with you."

"Aww," Patricia heard the sigh escape and stopped and tried to recover, "I mean oh, is that all?"

"Isn't that enough to start with?"

"It should be, but I got to be honest, I'm really scared. I don't know how to do this kind of relationship. I never had a boyfriend and I don't really know how to be a girl. I've just been imagining things all my life, this is my first time acting things out for real."

"We'll go slow and figure it out together--if you want to try, that is."

"I would like to try, really," Patricia said softly.

"Come here, then," Paul opened up his arm and let Patricia rest her head on his shoulder before he put his arm around her. "That isn't too bad, is it?"

"No, it's kind of nice, and kind of romantic, too." Patricia said as she watched the water ripple lightly and felt Paul's hand rub her bare arm. The two stayed there in silence for fifteen minutes, Patricia enjoyed listening to Paul's heart.

"We better get going, Colleen probably noticed I left the party and is pgetting worried a little bit."

"Is this an invitation back to your place?" Paul winked.

"Yes, but don't get your hopes up, tiger." Patricia laughed.

The two walked hand-in-hand back towards the apartment. Paul told her how he was a grad student of psychology, and his plans for the future. Patricia told him she was a theatre major and hoped to go into teaching and acting when all was said and done.

"So this is my place," Patricia said as they walked through the front door.

"Nice place." Paul kept up with the small talk.

"It doesn't look like Colleen is here, want to sit down for awhile?"

"Sure," Paul sat on the couch and Patricia joined him.

The two sat in awkward silence for a few moments, not really knowing what to say but wanting to avoid more small talk. Patricia, feeling a little closeness to the this boy she had just met, snuggled up with him, letting his arm drape over her shoulder.

"I could get use to this." Paul said.

"Me too, but you know I can't keep the masquerade going too much longer. Classes on Monday, you know."

"Yeah, but if you feel like you're a girl, than that not being one is the masquerade."

"I haven't thought of it like that, I suppose you're right. But what can I do?"

"You can be yourself, however you are the most comfortable. Whatever you choose, I would like to be there for you."

"You really mean that, don't you?" Patricia asked.

"Yes, I really do, you're one of the special ones."

"So are you," Patricia turned her head and looked Paul in the eyes.

"God, you have beautiful eyes." Paul said as his hand gently touched Patricia's cheek. Slowly, yet with purpose and no hesitation, he tilted his head and slowly brought his lips to meet hers. Patricia's lips parted instinctively as she received the kiss. Her eyes closed as she felt warmth build up in her chest and stomach. She was in another realm surrounded with bliss as she felt Paul's strong hand rub her back. It ended all to soon for Patricia, as Paul ended the embrace and once again they were staring face to face.

"Oh, my. I don't know what to say." Patricia began getting flustered.

"I hope that it was okay."

"It was, but this is going too fast--it's not that you did anything wrong but this is so new to me."

"I think I understand. How about we call it a night and tomorrow we can go to the fair?"

"That would be great," Patricia led him to the door.

"Tomorrow at nine, then?"

"Yes, I'm already looking forward to it."

"Great, listen, I'm sorry if I freaked you out. I didn't mean to go so fast."

"Don't be, I liked it, I just need time to let everything sink in." Patricia said as she gave Paul a peck on the lips and closed the door behind him.

Patricia went up stairs to the bathroom. She looked at herself in the mirror, still amazed at how convincing she could be as a girl. She removed her dress and water bra and stared in the mirror. Even without clothes she looked pretty convincing.

"You okay?" Colleen asked as she entered the bathroom.

"I guess, I don't know."

"Why didn't you come get me and tell me you were leaving?"

"I was upset," Patricia said flatly.

"Why, what happened?"

"That asshole Roy said he would tell everyone I was really a guy unless I gave him a blowjob."

"What did you do?"

"Nothing, just left, I felt humiliated."

"Well don't, he's such a dickhead--and don't worry he didn't tell anyone."

"Still ticked me off."

"Well, I'm sorry your evening was a waste, it wasn't even that good of a party to begin with," Colleen apologized.

"It wasn't a complete waste," Patricia blushed.

"Oh really? Come on, let me hear the gossip."

"I met someone, he's real nice."

"Who, who?" Colleen prodded.

"His name is Paul, he's a grad student."

"And, what happened."

"We kissed."

"You kissed a guy?" Colleen was almost in shock. "What did you think, did you like it?"

"I think so, it was really nice. But then I got excited," Patricia looked down at her crotch, "That kind of frightened me and weirded me out because I forgot all about it for awhile. It also hurt because of the tape.'

"So--no other issues, just that you got excited?"

"Well, I'm sure there will be other issues, but I need time to let everything sink in. Besides I have a date tomorrow anyway."

"You go girl." Colleen smiled.

"Right now I think I'm going to go and park myself in front of the T.V and not think for a while."

"I'll join you, we can watch a movie."

The two got in their nightgowns and after making a big bowl of popcorn sat down on the couch and watched 'You've Got Mail'. It was one of Patricia's favorites and she could spend a few hours not analyzing life, like she knew she wanted to.

to be continued...