Phone Fun
By Ellie Dauber (c) 2003

Andy smiled and hit redial.

The display on his phone showed the number being dialed; 5-5-5-3-8-0-7. It was a number he'd picked at random.

"Hello," a voice came over the speaker. It was a woman's voice, though he couldn't tell her age.

He tried a southern accent this time. "Hello, ma'am. Is Jerry there?"

"There's no Jerry here." She was beginning to get annoyed. Well, why not. This was the fifth time he'd called in less than ten minutes.

Andy leaned back in his chair and took a swig of beer. He loved playing this game with people. He wasn't as good at it as his idol, Bart Simpson, but then, Bart had better writers, and _nobody_ was as dumb as Moe, the bartender. All in all, it was a great way to kill a Saturday night. Ot, at least, as good a way as he was able to find.

Andy had moved to Uniontown about six months before. He was a shy twenty-year old, who hadn't made more than a couple of very casual acquaintances in that time. He was thin, with shaggy brown hair and very few social skills of any sort. He made up for it by playing silly jokes like this. It was just before April Fools Day, and he couldn't resist

He took another swig. Long enough; it was time for the last set up call. He hit re-dial again.

"Hello." She was definitely getting mad. "Is this another call for Jerry?"

"Yes'm," Andy said. His voice was higher this time, so he sounded younger. "C-can I talk to him?"

"This has gotten tiresome, young man. I would advise you _not_ to call back." The phone slammed down at the other end of the line.

Andy clapped his hands together. Oh, boy, was she ready. He knew that she was on to him, that she realized that it was a practical joke. He was still going to make the final call and to finish her off. If he didn't, if he didn't call back, then she'd have won. He couldn't have that.

He finished the beer and crushed the can. He had a small recorder hooked into the phone. He turned it on as he hit redial one more time. Her reaction was going to be _epic_, and he wanted to get it on tape.

"Very well," the voice said. It sounded incredibly calm. "Go ahead; you've made your choice."

"Hi, this is Jerry," he paused to let the name sink in. "Were there any calls for me."

"There were a great many calls, as you well know. And since you insist that you are who you say you are..." There was an odd edge to the voice. Maybe she had a phone tracer. Andy panicked and tried to hang up the phone.

But he couldn't. He couldn't do anything. His body wouldn't move. He was frozen in place, half standing, leaning over his phone.

"If you want to be Jerry, then Jerry you shall be. But not the Jerry you would want to be. No, not at all who you would want to be."

Andy's body began to tingle. He could see his right arm, the one that had been reaching towards the machine. It seemed thinner now, and the hair on it was growing lighter, thinner; it was fading away. His fingers looked slender and more graceful, and now there was a layer of pink polish on his nails.

His scalp itched. He felt his hair getting longer. It grew over his ears and down to tickle the back of his neck. His face twitched. Something was happening to it, something that he didn't think he'd like. He nervously ran his tongue over his lips and felt a waxy sweetness. Lipstick, it couldn't be. He felt something, a stretching in his chest. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw something push his shirt outward into his line of sight. He felt the fabric pushing against him, and there was some kind of weight in his chest.

His slacks grew tight as he felt his hips swell outward. The fabric was cool against his softer, hairless legs. It was a pleasant feeling until... until some force seemed to grasp his penis and balls. It pulled and twisted them, even as it was caressing them. Then, it just _pushed_, pushed them into his body. He shuddered, and his eyes grew wide at the flood of sensations that ran through his body.

The voice came over the phone again. "Enjoy your new life, Geri. You'll be too busy now to be bothering me ever again." There was a click and then the dial tone.

But as Andy... Yes, _Andy_ watched, the phone changed color, shifting from black to eggshell white. Then tbe improvised table, a board over two milk crates, turned into a real coffee table with a cherrywood finish. Andy could move again. He stood up and looked around.

He was still in the same apartment, but now it was entirely different. There were framed art posters on the walls where the magazine centerfolds had been. The used furniture, a table and three chairs near the kitchen and the couch she'd been sitting on, were in better repair. They all had the same finish as the coffee table. There was a vase with fresh flowers on the table and several pastel red throw pillows on the couch. Two chairs that Andy had never seen before were at the ends of the couch, and there were recent issues of _Cosmo_ and _Metropolitan Life_ on the coffee table.

"What the hell did she do to me?" Andy said.

He looked down. His "Naked Volleyball" T-shirt was now a blue cotton top that clung to his curves, his new _busty_ curves. He was at least a 36-C. "Can't be real," he said, touching them, but they were. His fingers kneaded the new flesh. It felt good, real, real, good, and he hated to stop.

But he had to. Expecting the worse, he lowered one hand to his crotch, his flat crotch. There was no bulge. He slid his hand into his very tight jeans. His cotton boxers were now soft and satiny to the touch. His prick and balls were gone, but he found a very sensitive slit, where they had been. He slid a finger in and moaned at the feeling.

"Shit, no!" He pulled it out quickly, _very_ quickly. This was crazy. He was a guy, damn it.

The phone rang, startling him. He pressed the speaker button. "He..hello?"

"Is Geri there." It was her. "You might as well speak up. I _know_ you're there."

"No, bitch. This is Andy. What the hell did you do to me?"

"Could you say that again, please." She said it so calmly, that Andy shuddered.

"I said this is... this is... Geri." She shook her head. That didn't sound right, but it was her name. It had always been her name; hadn't it? "What... what did you want?"

"Why, Geri, I just wanted to say 'April Fools!' before Ron got there."

"'April Fools'... 'Ron'? I'm afraid that I don't understand."

"No, but you'll be all the better for it."

The doorbell rang, startling Geri. She didn't have a doorbell.

"Ah," said the voice. "He's here. I'd best go. Try to make something of this life." Another click, and the dial tine came back.

"What the?' Geri said. The doorbell rang again.

She hurried over and opened the door. "Yes?" A tall man about her age stood just outside. He had curly, light brown hair, big brown eyes, and... and the cutest grin.

"Yes?" the man said. "Well, that's hardly the sort of greeting I was expecting.

Geri blushed and looked down. "And what sort of a greeting _were_ you expecting... Ron?" She knew, all at once that it was his name, that they had met about a month before, and that they were dating seriously.

The man stepped inside. He closed the door behind him and took her in his arms. Geri felt warm and happy. "When a man comes to pick up his girl to take her out for dinner, he expects something a bit more like this." He pulled her close and kissed her. Geri was startled, but she returned the kiss. Her arms went up around his neck. She felt her breasts tingling as they were crushed against his chest. Down in her crotch, there was a warmth and an emptiness.

After a few minutes, they stopped for a breath. The man suddenly looked around her apartment. "Say, is your refrigerator running?"

"Why?" she asked breathlessly. She kept her arms around his neck, hoping for another kiss.

"Because we'd better catch it then, before we go out for that dinner."

This ending was suggested by Steve Zink. Thanks for the idea, Steve.

* * * * *

The phone rang, startling him. He pressed the speaker button. "He-hello?"

"Is Geri there." It was her. "You might as well speak up. I _know_ you're there."

"No, bitch. This is Andy. What the hell did you do to me?"

"Could you say that again, please." She said it so calmly, that Andy shuddered.

"I said this is... Hi, this is... Geri." She shook her head. That didn't sound right, but it was her name. And her voice, it was softer, now and sexier than she remembered it ver being before. What was going on?

"Hi, Geri. I'm... umm, Joe." The voice was male. She didn't recognize it, but it sounded... compelling.

"Hi, Joe. That's a nice name." What was she saying? "You've got a sexy voice. It's really turning me on."

"Really? Gee, nobody ever said that to me before."

"Well, _I'm_ saying it. It makes me feel all warm and tingly."

"Y-yeah? Tell me more. Tell me... tell me what are you wearing."

"Oooh, you _naughty_ boy; do I really have to tell you that?" Andy... Geri was disgusted. And scared. She kept trying to stop talking, but she couldn't seem to control her voice any more.

"You do." Whoever this Joe was, he was getting turned on. She could hear it in his voice.

"Okay. I'm wearing my favorite purple teddy. It's my favorite because it's got a built in bra that makes my breasts look even bigger, and it's cut so low that my nipple kind of, well, pop out of them some times when I get excited."

"Like now?"

"Yes, I..." Geri looked down. Her clothes, the blue top and the tight jeans were gone. She was wearing a very low cut teddy, purple just as she had said.

"Is something the matter?" He sounded concerned, anxious that she was still there on the phone.

"No, I... my titties just looked so inviting that I wanted to play with them." Oh, Lord, what was he saying? "Should I play with them, Joe? Should I play with them for you?"

"Yeah, yeah, play with them... and talk like it was me there playing with them."

"That sounds _real_ good." Geri's voice was low and breathy now. "I'm lying back here on my bed, and you, you're here with me. Your hands, oooh, they're so big. I like a man with big hands. It means he's got a big dick. Do you have a big dick, Joe, honey?"

The room seemed to shift. She was in a bedroom, a woman's bedroom with lacy curtains and a dressing table covered with cosmetics and a bed, a woman's bed with a white ruffled bedspread that she was lying on.

"Yeah, and it's getting bigger all the time I'm listening to you, Geri."

"Goodie. Well, right now, you've got those big hands on my titties. You're squeezing them and playing with them in a way that's -- oooh -- that's sending shivers all through my body. You're making me hot, Joe, hot and wet, and I --"

"I'm just cutting in here for a minute, Geri." It was _her_. "Don't worry about Joe. This is all happening in a fraction of a second. He won't even miss you."

"What the hell did you do to me?"

"I gave you what you wanted. You enjoyed playing with people's minds over the telephone, so I adjusted reality, and _now_ you do it for a living. You can't help yourself. My magic will make you respond as the perfect phone sex girl. Only, what you tell them won't be a lie. You'll transform into whatever you tell them you look like, do to yourself whatever you say you're doing." She laughed. "You should be very, very popular." There was a click, and just a moment of dial tone.

"I'm making you hot, am I?" Joe was back.

"Ooh, you sure are, honey. I want you, I want you inside me _so_ much."

Geri kept talking, indulging Joe in what was now becoming a rape fantasy. And as she twisted and moaned in a genuine sexual frenzy, tears ran down her cheeks. She had come to realize that this was the only kind of call she would be making for a long, long time.

Andy thought he was just having a little harmless fun on the telephone, but he made the mistake of dialing the wrong number, a number whose main exchange was in... the Twilight Zone.

The End