Tom's Christmas Diary

By Little Katie

Part Six: Happy? New Year!

Tuesday, December 31st, Hi mrs. Diary. Today is the very last day of the year. I'm glad it is. This hasn't been a very good year, oh no it hasn't. Mom's baby died inside her and you know what, I kind of miss not having a little sister and I never did get to meet her. That kind of makes me want to cry. I don't know why, I think it's the stupid dress again. My dad is gone, but last night I dreamed about him. I like never remember my dreams, but I dreamt about him last night. In my dream my dad walked in and I was in my christmas dress. He got very mad and started hitting me. He called me bad names like faggot. I don't know why I dreamed it. I looked on the computer for dreams, but nothing came up to help. I think maybe this is wrong for me to be dressing like a girl and maybe I'm just afraid he will find out and completely not love me anymore. It's me again. I had to stop writing and think for a few seconds. Let me tell you about my day. Okay football got real boring real quick because my team didn't need anyone to win or nothing. So me and mom turnt off the television. Instead we talked for awhile. Not about anything deep or serious, just chatting about the party tonight and what I plan to wear. I asked about earings, if they hurt or not. I don't know why I asked. Mom wears these dangly ones and I wondered if it hurt getting them put in. Mom said it was so long ago that she honestly couldn't remember. I don't know why girls get earings, it looks like it hurts. They do look pretty because they add color, but I could add color with a magic marker. I don't think girls are smart enough to figure that out. I also showed mom how I can change a diaper real good. She was impressed. She said it is nice seeing how I pay special attention to my little baby doll. Then I realized, I was playing with a doll in front of my mom. GROSS. I covered and said it was part of her gift and I'm trying to give her the best gift possible. She just looked at me funny and said ‘are you sure." I kissed her and said you deserve the best. She said that she got the best and hugged me. Mom tucked both me and Amy in. I don't know if I should sleep with a doll but Amy might get scared. Stupid doll, stupid dress, making my thinking all stupid like a girl. I can't wait till school. SEE HOW ITS MAKING ME NUTS, I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO SCHOOL. AS IF. I woke up this morning and Amy doll was laying in my arms. I gave her a kiss and hugged her tight because I was feeling bad. Then I thought what if dad did walk in and I threw her under the bed. But that made me sad too and I put her in her crib and placed her nicely on my dresser. I didn't tell mom my dream. I know she likes me being her little girl and I didn't want her to make me stop and her not be happy. Beside there's a party tonight and I'm going to drink champain. Mom called up Sam and Sam came over also. I wore a real nice denim skirt, it was a little poofy but not bad and a white princess shirt. ICK. And White tights. What is with girls and wanting to be princesses. Anyway, we went to the mall. The good thing about the mall is that its so far away I don't have to worry about anyone seeing me. It's fun at the mall to. It was even funner as a girl. Cause usually shopping at the mall is boring, but with Sam and my Mom it was so great. First off everyone is nicer to you and really wants to help. As long as you aren't acting like an anoying little bratboy. We went into this one store that was just for girls and I never been inside it, but Sam said they had really nice stuff and I really didn't have any choice but to believe her. The lady that worked there was real nice and smelled like flowers. I remembered that. We picked out four dresses and I tried them all on. One was red and real small and tight, I couldn't breath. Another was green but the color didn't go to good with my hair. One was a shiney black one, but I don't think I'm old enough to wear something like that and the top was too roomy. If I was a little more like Sam it would of worked out to look nice I think. But I'm flat still. I mean I'm a boy so I got nothing to hold it up and I'm just doing it for mom so don't you forget. The last dress was great, it was blue so it really made my eyes look good. It's full length too. That means my legs don't have to be showing. It's got a little poof to it to. It was real comfortable to and we decided to get it. We also got maching shoes, it has a half inch heel. Why do girls want to look taller anyway. Heels are torture I think. I took a walk around the store in them and felt like I was going to break my ankle. Okay then we got me a little purse to match. I told mom I didn't have anything to put in a purse and she said maybe I could carry something and maybe someone will give me something at the party and I won't have pockets. I kind of see her point. Then we went to the food court. Me and Sam walked behind my mom. Two boys passed us and one said "Hi, cutey." That made me and Sam giggle like crazy. They didn't know a was a boy, what fruitcakes. Now I know why girls laugh all the time. Boys are fruitcakes I guess all the time to them. We had chicken from wendy's and got frosty's too. It is snowing out and we got frosty's. We are two nutty chicks. I meen, you know what I meen so hush up mrs. Diary. On the way out we passed an earing place. I wonder what I'd look like with hearts in my ears. LIKE A TOTAL FRUIT, stupid dress messing with my head again. We drove home and I took a nap and so did SAM. SAM is not going to go with us, because she is going by family. But, she was allowed to stay over and nap with me. My bed isn't cool like hers. But, I'm glad I cleaned the room. She saw Amy and I admitted that she was my baby doll, until this is over. Sam said that I was sweet and kissed me on the cheek. I could feel my face get redder and redder. Taking a nap with Sam is so cool anyway, she don't kick or nothing. We each had a pillow and she said she was glad that I'm her friend. I'm glad to, she is pretty cool and hasn't made fun of me or nothing for being a fruitboy for mom. We woke up and it was time to start getting ready. Sam didn't stay to help, she had to get back home to. Well mom did my hair, and she used so much hairspray I thought I would get sick. My hair is now super poofy and the bangs won't move in a tornado I think. I practiced walking some, it's still hard but I'm getting better. Mom is letting me wear some blush out. Now it looks like I'm embarrised all the time. Isn't that silly that girls do that. Okay I put on the dress and it still looks nice. Mom is wearing a black number and she looks good. ICK I SAID MY MOM LOOKS GOOD. Well I got to go to this party now. I'll tell you all about it if I wake up tomorrow. Kiss Kiss.