Posted by: NiGHTs on Monday, August 02, 2004 - 12:11 AM
New U
Redux
Chapter 8
Gross Adjustments
What Happened While You Weren't Looking
Last of the original 8, this chapter is very choppy and I hope it's the last time I have to use this "style". From here the story splits for a while as various Jamie and the rest of the cast move in different directions.
On a side note, I figured out how to change fonts, now I just have to fit the text properly ^_^;;;
Chapter 9 soon
NiGHTs
2004
Obviously, the characters and situations presented are fiction and any resemblance to anyone living or dead is purely coincidental unless they're public figures and then shame on them. Please feel free to post or archive with notification. Otherwise, this work should be considered copyright 1997 Jeffrey S. Rose and no part should be published electronically or in printed form except for review/critical analysis, or offered for sale without consent of the author.
Ch. 8: Gross Adjustments-What happened while you weren't
looking By Jeff Rose
[Harry: Shortly after being picked up by Michael]
"It can happen to you
It can happen to me
It can happen to everyone eventually"
-It Can Happen
(Squire/Anderson/Rabin)
"Well, what do you think of the facilities, Mr. Selznick?"
Harry studied his "assistant" carefully while
thinking about his response to Dr. Hanson's query. During his entire orientation, David had been at his elbow from the time Michael and Leonard dropped him off at Biomech's compound outside Ft. Meade in southern Maryland. He'd helped Harry settle into the quarters provided him and walked him through the physical with its various inoculations.
Harry had been tempted briefly to slap away David's helping hands when dressing in the disposable jumpsuit provided him, but although David was certainly smaller than Leonard, the strength of his grip and thespeed with which he "guided" him made Harry acutely aware that however well-trained David was as a lab tech, he was at least as well trained to keep Harry in line.
"Biomech seems very well equipped to tackle nanite design and construction. I think I can have your boys up and running within a month." Harry paused to phrase a question and stepped out into the corridor. "David, I thought Biomech had been working on similar Nanite Construction techniques to New U, but this place has so many containment doors and the decon procedures. ...."
A female voice jumped in. "Well in the good old days of the cold war our primary thrust was bio and chemical warfare research.", The woman in extended her hand. "Dr. Lauren Hanson. I'm the administrator and Head of Bio-Chem Research."
"So your nanites started out as a biological weapon?"
"The man who built the bug that is the basis of our system was actually trying to find a means of controlling outbreak while minimizing loss of contractibility."
"Send that by me again?", Harry blinked as they
stepped out into the hallway.
"What he created was TRS80." Dr. Hanson adjusted her glasses as David and Harry stepped out of the changing room, and began down the hall. "I'd like you to see why we were so interested in New U Nanotech's approach to bio-manipulation."
"You see, TRS80 was developed before the concept of nano-machines had even been broached. The idea was to create a bacteria that would maintain a symbiotic relationship with a tailored virus.", She said, handing him a folder containing the project information. "Understand, a properly tailored virus can be devastating to any target
organism, killing in less than 24-48 hours. And for BW purposes they have the added advantage of being incurable.", she continued, "Even if the theoretical 'enemy' creates a vaccine, it will only help non-infected assets. A victim either develops adequate anti-bodies and overpowers the infection or not. That's why the outbreaks of Ebola and
other more primitive "killer" viruses burn out so quickly today. Modern medical containment procedures seal off the infected before they can
infect others. Since these viruses are usually unable to exist outside a host organism or a controlled environment for more than, say between
a couple of minutes to an hour, there's quickly no place to go to and the epidemic ends."
"That's also why AIDS and other more sophisticated viruses are so difficult to wipe out. They kill much more slowly, over a matter of years. And the host is relatively healthy for much of that
time. That gives them much more time to pass the infection on. Not to mention the fact that unless you like the idea of concentration camps for all such victims like Castro is supposed to be using, accidents happen. Without a vaccine or real cure, it just keeps chugging along. Just thank God both Ebola and AIDS are both still too primitive to
exist outside their host organisms for any real length of time. If they were capable of aerosol transmission..." Dr Hanson shook her head in
awe at the thought.
"Bacteria on the other hand; While they can be
treated with antibiotics, sulfa or other toxins, curing the infected individual, containment of a bacterial outbreak can be much more problematic. Typically bacteria can survive for extended periods
outside a host organism or even go dormant until they encounter a favorable environment unless some form of sterilization is performed."
"Battling a bacterial outbreak requires finding the source of the epidemic and sterilizing it, as well as all the normal contact tracing. Ah, here we are.", She finished, sliding her ID through reader by the door. The room was long, thin and crammed with a huge amount of recording equipment. Another tech sat at the right wall, which was occupied by an immense picture window, looking out on a large
enclosed and skylighted kennel area. None of the animals were in evidence though. That wasn't too surprising as about ten feet away from the six pens, were the remains of what must have been a very impressive indoor park.
As Harry looked into various monitors, displaying various areas of the huge enclosure, He asked, "So what you wanted was the survivability of a bacteria merged with the destructive capabilities of a very primitive virus?"
"Exactly. What they developed was a fairly harmless bacteria that acted as a carrier for whatever viral type might be preferred. As long as the virus was made up of a longer DNA or RNA chain than the bacteria; That's all a virus is. Anyway, for a virus to operate, once it has penetrated a cell membrane, it plugs into the existing DNA or RNA and uses the cell's reproducing capabilities for itself. With TRS80, the virus is dormant, but protected by the bacterial component. , She said, becoming excited.
"But, when the bacteria finds itself in favorable conditions, how does the virus duplicate much less enter the host?" Harry asked. Staring at one of the monitors. He thought he saw movement
in one of the bushes.
"For a brief period during the Bacteria's
reproduction cycle, the DNA or RNA strands are long enough for the virus to plug in. This prolongs the process and the stress inevitably kills one of the developing cells. The cell membrane ruptures
temporarily. Spilling the new virus into the environment. The old virus, deprived of a place to plug into goes dormant 'til the process repeats or the original bacteria wears out. The bacterial aspect is quite benign"
"How does TRS80 relate to the New U process?"
"Take a look at the project objectives in the
folder. We've got another ten minutes or so before feeding time." Harry let his eyes come off the monitor. He'd caught a glimpse of something,
but doubtless he'd get a better look at feeding time. "Let's see...You tried replacing the viral component with something similar to New U'
S-XII "Groomer" nanites." He continued paging through Biomech's progress. "But this will only..."
"Call it planned obsolescence.", Lauren replied. "Repeated exposure must be maintained on a constant basis. The Rebus virus in the TRS80 tends to mutate rapidly, losing its beneficial effects."
"But it works?"
"David? Why don't you help Jeremy here with
feeding." David shuddered visibly, displaying something other than his normal coolness for the first time since Harry had met him. "Harry and
I will be fine right here. Oh, and be careful around Marion. I understand she's gotten rather snippy since dropping her latest litter." David nodded to Dr. Hanson and followed the tech through the doorway at the end of the room.
"They'll be a minute or two getting into
environmental suits and clearing the airlock." Lauren said.
"A necessary precaution I'm afraid. About a
year ago we had an accident in one of our labs. A test version of Rebus got out while some of the Rebus development team were working with the
test animals. The environment in there is full of Rebus. But you'll see that the results were somewhat startling. You should also be able to
recognize the current flaw in Rebus. We are really at our wit's end with it. Which means we've had to put additional effort into our R&D with nanotechnology. Since New U patented their nanite
construction technology, they gave us a leg up on developing our own nanites. They're not as sophisticated as what New U is capable of but
that will change. What they haven't patented or copyrighted is their molecular encoding process or the operating language they use. That's we needed - until you joined the project."
A door opened by the kennel area and two suited
figures, one carrying a bucket and the other what appeared to be a cattle prod. As the first started scooping what Harry assumed to be feed into the scattered food bowels, he noticed movement in the
underbrush at the edge of the kennel.
"They scent food very quickly." Lauren commented.
Harry's breath caught in his throat as Slowly the one then another of the large 'dogs' came out of the brush. Finally five of the creatures made their way to the waiting bowels. Most moved
quite capably on all fours, but two had apparent difficulty. One, because of a pair of distinctly human breasts which got in the way of her forelegs. Harry had trouble identifying the other's problem, until he saw him sit by the bowl furthest from the pack leader. He gingerly scooped food out of his bowl with his... hands? That would account for
his difficultly walking. It couldn't be easy feeding himself either as it seemed he was unable to rotate his 'hands' palm up. Harry noted
silently that the dogs' human, rather than canine hair patterns made them seem that much more alien than even the very human faces, with their shortened snouts that made feeding a quite messy affair.
"Marion must be waiting for David and Jeremy to
leave before she'll move away from the pups. ", Lauren commented. "See how they've established a crude pack order? Sam inspects everyone's
bowl and appropriates anything he finds interesting. The one eating with his hands is Larsen, poor boy. Used to head this section. Now
because he's not able to function efficiently as a dog he's become 'odd man out'."
Harry's eyes widened in disbelief. Dr. Hanson
suppressed an inappropriate chuckle. "Oh I'm sorry I didn't make it clear. What you are looking at are what's left of the nine members of the Rebus team caught by the accident. They were using a canine version of rebus to clean the congenital deafness out of a Dalmatian's DNA.", She shook her head sadly. "That's the main problem with Rebus. The
bacterial component easily survives in most mammals and we need a more compact programing language to keep our groomers from converting everything they encounter to its matrix. After all, we're trying to
skim the scum out of the gene pool, not rebuild the earth in Dr Moreu's image."
[Rick: Dinner, Saturday Night]
Rick watched Jamie and Dan leave the room. That girl will have to watch her step around Dan, he thought. He'd never seen Dan take such an instant dislike to anyone before. Hopefully it's just the
tension working its way out. He took out his cell phone, tapped a number and waited. Still, Jamie seemed a sharp lass and not all that disturbed by her situation.
"Rick, why haven't…" Chris halted her inquiry when Rick lifted a finger. After about six rings, he was greeted by a rumbling "Hello?"
"George? This is Rick...Yes, I know it's Saturday night. Considering circumstances of the past week or so I didn't think you'd mind. Now secure this line." Rick waited while alternating tones told him that George's phone and his were discussing scrambling/descrambling protocols. Then there was the click confirming the scrambler was in fact engaged.
"Okay George, I just got into Baltimore...No, I
already have someplace to stay. I want a meeting at Gordon/Star Monday, noon. Call it lunch. Have a complete report with Michael on hand. ...No
don't do anything about it 'til we have a chance to talk. Just make sure that ambitious slut Hanson doesn't so much as take a shit but that you don't know how much and what it tastes like."
Chris mouthed "George?" at Anne, to which she
whispered back, "Biomech".
"Alright, we'll discuss options then. No, they're as well as can be expected considering. I do want you to start thinking about where Biomech is going to start drawing funds to clean this up.
I'll see you Monday.", Rick put the phone back into his pocket. "Right. Anne, what has this done to our schedule?"
"The our computer is back online and they're still working on a simplified version of New U for general release, but you know we're going to be blocked on distribution. Beth, Chris and I are
still looking over the possibility of altering the Nanites established in Dan and Jamie, but that doesn't look encouraging.", Anne responded.
"Wait a minute." Chris said. "What was all that
about Biomech? Were they responsible for the sabotage that started this?"
Rick had the grace to look embarrassed. "Chris, you knew there were other companies looking into similar technologies. Biomech has been trying to produce something like the New U treatment
since before Anne approached me. George is my Proxy holder at Biomech. When Beth leapfrogged the existing technology, we began pressuring their R&D unit to produce or abandon the project. They'd already had one very expensive accident. The funding they received through their parent corporation was quite extravagant compared to the
operating funds New U has had to work with so it looked like it was going to be a piece of cake. After all, Biomech started the project on George's proposal."
"So how...?"
"The project director appears to have acted on her own. That's what the meeting on Monday is largely concerned about." Rick paused and flipped a few pages in his notebook. "I'd like to suggest putting a recovery program on the back burner. If we have to risk either of those kids' lives to get them back to normal, then we won't do it. Dan is alive and healthy. He'll just have to live with it."
"And if you get someone to carry on the family name out of it so much the better?"
"Now Beth, that's... "
"An pertinant question.", The red-head insisted. "You led that poor child to think we had a ready cure. Hell, We can't even suggest SRS for the kids because their nanites would 'repair' the
'damage' within a month and hormone therapy would be rejected by the nanites out of hand."
"So instead of prepping him for the bad news and trying to convince him that being my son meant no more to me than being my daughter, I let him run head on into a brick wall.", Rick was getting angry now. "That sounds like I was really encouraging the boy! I love my child, no matter what he is."
Rick sighed, "I really hoped you would have come up with something. He's been so miserable. Mary usually handles him when he's depressed, but he hasn't let her near him. She's the psychiatrist in the family. I'm just an old con-man with money." Anne reached over to Rick, but he shook her off and grinned. "Everything I've worked for the past 30
years and more has been for the future. For my children and their children, and in one swell foop it could come crashing down around my ears before it even really gets off the ground."
"I wasn't joking before about needing to do some firebreaking. George is holding up reports from Biomech's Nanite group and unless I can come up with an amicable solution, our medical revolution may well spark the resource war I've been trying to beat."
"I thought you were closing Biomech down?", Asked Anne.
"The shut down was going to be put to the board as a cost cutting measure. If they find out they now have access to your technology... Well let's face it. The moneymaking potential of a cure-all vaccine is what Anne here tried to sell all our investors on in the first place. I do have an idea about how to get Biomech more or less off our back without taking us any further off track though."
[Dan'l: Saturday evening]
"Don't surround yourself with yourself
Move on back to squares
Send an Instant Karma to me
Initial it with loving care
Don't surround yourself"
- I Seen All Good People (a: Your Move)
(Jon Anderson)
Dan'l Angstrom closed the door to the room and
looked around.
"I'm _not_ a boy."
The statement had less force behind it than when she told Jamie where to get off a few moments before. Snapping the television on was even depressing... News and "Cops" reruns. At least
it was noise, she thought as the announcer droned on about the world's first commercially run space shuttle.
Digging through the sports bag by the bed, Dan'l fished out a worn and beaten diary. Pooh, Christopher Robin and Eeyore looked back, solemnly
guarding the contents as they had since Mom bought it for her during the family's last trip to Disneyland, before starting treatments at the
New U clinic.
At that point she'd been practically wheelchair bound. The effort required getting out of the car and into the chair, left her breathless. Raising the book to her lips Dan'l raised the pitch of her
voice a half octave and spoke, "Here is Edward Bear, coming downstairs now, bump, bump, bump, on the back of his head, behind Christopher Robin."
It was the first line from "Winnie-the-Pooh" one of her favorite books as a child and the reason Mom had bought it in the first place. The phrase barely fit in the voice lock, but she'd been
determined and finally got it down into the chip in the thing. Sadly, she realized that if her voice continued to drop, she'd have to reprogram it. It might be easier to just get a new diary; this one was nearly full now anyway. There were only about five pages left to write on.
Before putting anything further down though, she paged through the book slowly.
Apr 5th:
I was done today in only 3 hours! I know that sounds like a lot but my counts were down again so I got one unit of blood to top off my tank to go with the CDS treatment. The CDS bag was like, a quarter of the size of what I was getting before though and only took about 10 minutes to administer. The rest of the time was waiting for the blood to warm and getting it in through the Hickman.
I didn't even need the anti-nausea medicine! (Keeps the tummy from doing weird things but it gives me really shitty headaches.)
Dr. Howe was there to make sure everything went smoothly the first time, but she
looked different somehow. I know she's at least as old as Dad and she looked the same as when I met her last week, but something was definitely different about her. It was like she was acting her age rather than .........................
Of course now Dan'l knew that she, Ms. Anderson and Ms. Williams _were_ only acting their age and wearing a fair amount of make-up and hair dye. But then, she'd only met them once before, when they looked her over to see if their Chemo Delivery System might help her. It did too, Dan'l admitted. It just wasn't a cure. Not for her anyway.
Oct. 3
............Mom's worrying again. This last conference with Dr. Anne was upsetting for her. Seems what we hoped fell through again. The CDS
has stopped the progression, but I'm making cancer cells as fast as the cytoxin can kill them. Dad sent us home while he discussed some more "business" with Anne.
When we got home, Mom and I spent an hour or so in meditation while we waited for Dad. I wish he would spend more time with Mom. I think it exhausts her to be brave in front of me by herself and she really needs some support from him.
On the up side, I haven't needed blood for the last month and I really do feel better than I have since the bone marrow transplant failed. I let her know that and she seemed to perk up a little.
PBS is running "The Lion, The Witch & The Wardrobe" tonight. Break out the popcorn!..........
Dan'l smiled. That had been a good night, achy joints and all, snuggled between her parents in front of the tube. Next to The Forty Acre Wood, Narnia was one of her favorite places to lose herself in. One of the therapists Mom took her to was into "visualization therapy" and had Aslan battling the forces of the Ice Queen in her body. That didn't work either.
Feb 6:
Well Dad's surprise was a stunner, if not new. I'm going to be starting a new experimental treatment in the next couple of months. That was the "not new" part. The stunner was watching Anne, Chris and Beth remove their "faces" to prove the treatment works. It was sorta like something from Mission: Impossible. After introducing me to the technicians who'd be giving me the treatment they named after the company. Wow. They literally rebuilt themselves and if I survive (more on that later), I'll not only be in full remission, I'll be cured!..............
July 18:
......ACK!
Now I know why babies scream and holler when they're forced to breathe air for the first time! You don't mind liquid once you get over the
initial shock of breathing it, but afterwards! Even when you get through coughing the foul stuff out of your lungs, you feel all slimy inside for hours after.
Yuck.
The Therapy room was in a different part of the clinic on the third floor. Chris said it was her workshop and it looked like something out of a TV science fiction show that spent beau coup money on permanent sets, and then had to fudge any additions.
And that tub was definitely an addition. It looked like the ones used at Sea World to take care of sick dolphins, except it had a large
recirculation/filter system attached. They used the scale for invalid patients to hoist me into it after putting me under. We know that the SOUP works though. Now they say it'll take a month or so to get the treatment finalized and starter solutions "cooked".
After five months of prep and hypno-training, I'm ready to .............
"...start a new life." Dan'l sighed and skipped forward to the blank pages and brought pen to paper.
Aug 25:<br
>
Well, the good news is I'm not sick. The New U treatment is working. The bad news is, the reason my clit has been swelling up and my (GOD I can't believe this!) vagina sealed itself, is that I'm turning into a MAN!
According to Anne and Beth there was a really bad sabotage attempt at the clinic and I got some guy's treatment, or it got mixed with mine. It doesn't make any sense to me. All I know is that a 30-year-old man is running around in the body that should be mine.
His/her name is Jamie. I don't know what to feel about her. Part of me hates her and the fact that she'll be experiencing everything I dreamed of for the past five years and the other part- There's something happening between us that reminds me of Mom. For a moment, just as we met the
feeling of connection was so "tight" it overwhelmed me. Then the connection snapped close. Like a door slamming-HARD. That feeling was accentuated when she dropped the two huge suitcases she was trying to get out of the car on my feet.
The rest of the time she's so "surface" though. I mean, Mom always said I had a knack for reading people - her in particular. But although Jamie _looks_ normal (as normal as one could expect considering), it's like a well-crafted mask. But the mask was made to fit a different set of features, if you take my meaning. It looks quite good until you notice the edges overhang the face a bit.
And that was what made it so noticeable to me. The mask _doesn't_ quite fit. It slips occasionally. Jamie corrects quickly. I doubt even Dad can read him effectively. Nonetheless, if you poke her hard enough the real Jamie peaks through. .............
Dan'l put down his pen and closed the diary. He had been poking and prodding at Jamie all night. The phallic imagery of the thought wasn't lost on Dan'l as he entered the bathroom and got out of his sweats. She'd (HE'D) been trying to force her way through Jamie's defenses. Provoke her into action. Granted, she'd (HE'D) gotten a couple minor responses from him. But for the most part, Jamie had responded by just retreating further into her shell and presenting a calmer, more flippant, if possible face than before. Instead, she (HE) had ended up acting like a bully.
Dan'l's hands started moving the bar of soap around his body as warm water from the showerhead beat a staccato rhythm on his chest. Like it or not, with one well-timed statement, Jamie stuck
at the core of Dan'l's problem. She'd even stumbled across an acceptable name at dinner. One Dan'l knew he could hear without cringing or ignoring.
Rinsing the hair spreading across his flat chest, he looked down and there was the most undeniable evidence what was happening and that his declaration to Jamie was blatantly wrong. All
four inches of it hung limply to the left as he began slowly soaping the dense hair surrounding his (Go on, say it) penis and the developing flap of skin where his outer lips had been. "Where my scrotum is forming." Dan'l said closing his eyes.
Dan'l finished washing and toweled himself off
quickly and began pulling on the pajamas Dad bought him before they left. Looking in the mirror he brushed out and blow-dried his hair. Jamie did let slip some interesting information though. She was aware of the link between them as well. Dan'l's last attack had been meant to unnerve Jamie, and she'd confirmed his suspicion that they were
inadvertently influencing each other.
The link between them was at least as strong as the one Dan'l and his Mom had forged over their years of meditation together. Stronger really. It took them two years to form the bond. The bond he hadn't felt for the past few days. A bond lost because he couldn't bear to reveal himself to his Mother now that he was healthy but had reveled in while sick and in his own mind, disfigured. Was this that much different?
"Alright, so I am a boy." He said, running his hand round the contours of his face. It wasn't a bad face as such things went. Strong jaw line, deep-set eyes, a straight but not pointy nose.
No unibrow; that was a relief. Just enough baby-fat still lingering to remind one that this is still a kid. If she'd seen this guy five years ago, she might have thought he was kinda cute.
"Course, I'll be cute in a Grizzly Adams way if I don't do something about this", Dan'l said to the mirror rubbing his rapidly sprouting beard. When his hair had started spreading up his stomach and across his chest, he'd been afraid the treatment had left him with hypertrichosis. He could take care of that tomorrow. Tonight he'd use it to help with coming to terms with his new status.
He put the sweats and underwear in a laundry bag, staring at the panties and bra (never mind the extra socks) he'd worn earlier. Dad had packed more appropriate underwear. These were done. Walking back to his room, Dan'l knew that the first step to
understanding his twin Jamie was to understand himself.
The TV was still yakking inanely so he turned it off. He'd left the meditation candle at home, but that was a convenience, not a necessity. Clearing some space at the side of the bed, he sat in the position his Mother had taught him. He'd never really bought into his Mom's New Age beliefs. That didn't mean her belief in the power of meditation and self-hypnosis was entirely bogus
either. While neither had been able to actually do anything about the cancer eating away at him, Dan'l always felt better after a session. The position was now comfortable, but also made him aware of his body.
This might have been easier with Mom to guide him but he thought he should be able to do this initial probe himself. Turning his mind inward, he began checking himself out. Extending his awareness through the core to the ends of each extremity and back again; building a cohesive self-image. Dan'l almost laughed to look at it. The image he stepped away from was Jamie. Or at least, the way Dani
had pictured herself in the sessions with Mom or her therapist. The differences were negligible. He circled the image and began reshaping it to fit reality. Slowly exploring himself from the inside out, he pulled the tissue in from his chest and expanded his shoulders. Did he have a 15 or 16 inch neck? Another giggle ensued when he realized he'd
left his nipples at their old silver dollar size.
As he started in on each area he tried to cherish it fully before releasing it and bringing the new form in. Dan'l took as long a he needed. Time meant nothing where he was now. When the image
in his mind's eye matched what he was getting used to seeing in the mirror every morning now, he settled into it and realized that for the first time since undergoing transformation at the clinic he could feel what was happening inside him again. He could feel his new testicles, which were now starting the journey downward, filling the empty sack between his legs. The final stage of his transformation was completing itself. Dad now had someone to carry on the family line.
No! negative thought. Dad's wishes are of no
importance. Calm steady breaths. Release your anger. Richard Angstrom's wish for a son is irrelevant. You are Dan'l Angstrom. You are almost 18 years old and you will live beyond this century. Maybe even the next.
With that thought, Dan'l sank into his mind to begin the second phase of his self-examination.
The room formed around Dan'l's mind's eye. And it was a jumbled mess. Memories of Dani Angstrom's life were scattered everywhere. He wasn't surprised by its condition. It had been a while since he'd done any "cleaning" in here. Dani had spent the last few days mulling over 'might-have been's and 'used-to-be's instead of dealing with the now. He picked through the scattered memories, again
cherishing each as much as possible before putting them away. Some were loving moments like the evening watching TV with Mom and Dad. Feelings
of safety and security. Laying out in the back seat, on the way home and knowing all was right with the world while Mom and Dad were in the
front seat. Happy times - Watching Daddy cheer a particularly good hit at a softball game, or finding and getting a hug from Pooh at Disneyland on her third birthday.
Some were vague wispy things that were hard to pick up, but evoked strong responses. A small red terrycloth robe with Pooh sewn on the pocket, smelled of Uncle Jack's pipe tobacco and Dan'l
spent some time remembering being in his cabin listening intently as he read her favorite stories.
Eventually all that were left were the 'Dust
Bunnies' under the bed. He'd never ventured in there without Mom's or his therapist's guiding hand. Slowly Dan'l reached into the shadows and
pulled each out. A 'Get Well' gift reminded Dan'l of an incident during the Bone Marrow replacment. Dani had been so hopped up on painkillers at one point that she spent and hour arguing with a cat... and only after conceding that the cat was in fact right (Regis is the Anti-Christ) did she begin to suspect the toy balloon of having ulterior motives. A jump rope that brought Dani to tears a week after her original diagnosis when the closing phrase of "Yes my child by and by", took on a more relevant meaning.
There too many of those Dan'l thought. But each was taken and held and incorporated. These were the things, both good and bad that made up Dani and laid the foundation for Dan'l.
Then Dan'l stood alone and naked in a clean and
orderly room. Not empty, everything was that had been there, still was. All the unresolved issues and fears had been packed into the closet, but the door was open and they waited for resolution and confrontation. He felt ready to deal with the world now.
Except for the music coming in through the window.
Window? There'd never been windows here before. Open or otherwise. Examining it more closely he saw that the widow wasn't really open. the screen was down. Beyond the screen was an even more interesting sight. A corridor made of concrete, like you'd expect to find in an underground garage or the emergency exits for a mall. At the far end a set of polished oak doors opened out onto a very high priced office set.
After staring awhile, Dan'l thought he caught a
glimpse of two people, one in a business suit and the other in rags hurridly running back and forth. Dan'l had constructed the room he was in years ago, with the aid of his Mother and Therapist. It was
patterned after his room in the family home and while the original did have a window (two in fact) He'd purposefully kept the walls here clean of outside distractions. There was no other way to look at this but as a distraction.
The noise coming from the offices was increasing in volume. For a moment Dan'l thought he heard a woman laughing. The comings and goings in the office were picking up pace as well. A breeze
began wafting up the corridor. It carried a very familiar smell to Dan'l. He'd just spent a lot of time breathing it in. The smell of Dust Bunnies left too long under the bed was being stirred up over there. Even as he identified the scent of fear, Frick and Frack over in the office collided with each other and the doors to the office slammed
shut on themselves.
The shock of that sound made Dan'l open his eyes in the real world. Unlike any other session, he felt bone weary, and a little apprehensive. Bleary eyes scanned the non-descript room he was
given and eventually landed on the clock on the wall. "Geez, It's past three." Dan'l said raising to his feet unsteadily. He felt like he'd just woken from a bad dream and meditation should never produce that kind of feeling. Loneliness and uncertainty flared briefly in the back of his head, sending tingles through his gut. Dan'l shivered and pulled his PJs back on. Crawling under the covers, Dan'l reached over to the nightstand and picked up the phone and dialed.
"Mom... It's me. ", He said turning off the light and trying to feel her comforting presence.
* *
The talk with Mom helped clear the air about some things and Dan'l woke up feeling much better than he had in a week. The reflection that greeted him in the mirror was actually smiling today. A
fuzzy smile to be sure but that could be taken care of easily he thought, toweling his hair. Digging through the small case on the sink, Dan'l pulled out the electric razor his Dad packed. Twenty minutes later Dan'l gave it up as a lost cause and joined his father, Anne, and Chris for breakfast.
"Planning on growing a beard?" Rick asked, scooping some white goo onto a forkful of biscuit and egg.
"Not really Dad, just that Norelco didn't seem work as advertised." Dan'l said scratching an itch on his cheek.
"Your beard's probably too soft, hon Try the razor instead." Rick said the last slowly as if something were wrong with the conversation.
"Am I allowed to have breakfast before my check-up?" The savory scent of sausage gravy had Dan'l's mouth watering.
"Go ahead, this morning's check-up is my first
chance to have a look at my favorite paitent since you came out of the tank. How do you like your eggs." Anne said, fixing Dan'l a plate. "By the way, did you see the cook this morning while you were upstairs."
"Scambled is fine and no, I haven't seen Beth at all this morning."
"Dan son, I think your prejudces are showing." Rick said around mouthful of biscuit. "What woman in her right mind today would fix a breakfast so loaded with fat, grease, salt, and cholesterol
without a alternative?" Anne commented that Dad wasn't much better for that remark and that given Dan's evident need for starch and proteins she might have prepped something similar, but today was Jamie's day to do breakfast.
Dan'l had to admit Mom might make something like this for Dad, but would have made sure he got no other junk food the rest of the day. "Well, I haven't seen Jamie this morning, but I think she was up and about pretty early."
Anne nodded, "Alright, finish your breakfast and meet me down at the lab. I want to do a quick walkabout to make sure Jamie's ok."
Anne seemed preoccupied all during the exam and as promised, nothing out of the ordinary occurred.
"Well," she said as Beth took the samples down from the examination room to the main lab below. "Beth's tests and the kids at Hopkins get the final say, but I will venture to say that outside of
your accelerated metabolism, you are the very model of a young man. I want to talk to a dietary specialist, but I think I'm going to put you
on one of the protein supplement drinks to try to get your appetite under control until you finish growing out."
"Doc, Why isn't Jamie scarfing everything down the same way I am?
"He's...heh, She's got a bit less growing to do than you. You're 5' 7" right now. By the end of the year our computer is projecting you at just under 5' 11". Maybe a little taller. Your Father's a good 6' and Jamie was 5' 10". I'm not saying you'll be the next Arnold, but your genetic makeup is currently well disposed toward being tall. So, in addition to at least three or four inches in height, your body is trying to increase your mass proportionally."
"Jamie also has about two or three inches in height to gain but much less muscle and bone mass. In fact she's dumped a large proportion of her bodyweight as it is."
"I know what Dad's like, but what about Jamie?"
"I'm afraid I'm a little prejudice where she's
concerned." Anne blushed slightly for the first time since Dan'l had known the doctor. "I love her like my own. How are you and your father getting along?"
"I don't know what to think about him anymore."
Dan'l clenched his fists."I mean, we've always had a weird kind of relationship I guess. He was always interested and wanted to be there for me but the only times he could be depended on was if I was in an important game or seeing a new doctor or about to have a major operation. It was like he just couldn't be bothered by any award I got, unless it was for sports. Did you know my last recital before had tostop playing guitar I was considered one of the best classical players in the state? Maybe I just wanted too much from him."
"Why don't you come out here and play for me now Sweetheart." Came Rick's voice from the doorway. "Doctor? Is Dan finished?"
"Go along dear, I think it's time for your recital." Anne said patting the child on the rump.
"Before you say anything else Dad, we have got to talk about my name...."
* *
Rick had brought the six string out to porch and Dan'l inspected the insturment carefully before beginning to tune it. He worked up slowly testing long and uncalussed fingers with pieces like "Tom Dooly" and "Scarborough Fair". They talked all the while. Dan'l thought he might be limber enough by then to take a crack at Steve Howe's "Mood For A Day" when Rick asked his son to sing.
Dani had often sung in the shower, but never felt her voice was suitable for anything but her own enjoyment. Dan'l now looked at his father with more than a hint of confusion.
"Dan'l, I know I never really went out my way to see you perform, but I always paid attention when you played and one hearing you "hum and strum", was one of the more relaxing things I got
to do when I was home." Rick explained.
Dan'l thought for a moment as Chris dropped off some drinks and picked a song he thought his voice could handle. He had a little trouble with finding his pitch at first, but by the time the chorus swung around he was staring out past the front hedges and felt he could almost hear the alto harmony gliding airily round his tune.
The feeling was that of a good bond taking hold and staring at his father he knew that more than one bond needed to be established today.
[Addendum: Some of What "The TV was still yakking inanely" About]
…And I'm Paul Seguerson. Tonight on "World Watcher" An in-depth look at company behind the new "trans-global areospace" service, which began today with a sub-orbital flight from New York to Tokyo and their plans for a huge tract of land in the outback of Australia. Also word of…
…The Concorde marked new standards in service and speed, but this makes the Concorde appear to be standing still. It's called the Seraphim and I've just had the pleasure of traveling in it from New York to this airport outside of Tokyo. Although the flight was really routine in terms of service, that hardly mattered as the trip took only about an hour from the time we left the tarmac at La Guardia
to touchdown here in Narita, about 40 miles outside of Tokyo. What's truly amazing on top of this is the cost to the consumer…
…We talked to the Ryland Moore, the head of
operations for Orbital Lines.
"The secret to speed and economy is that the
Seraphim class liners aren't truly conventional aircraft. Once in the air these ships engage a radical new engine, burning our own fuel to
boost the ship into sub-orbit. From there it's just a matter of gliding down to whatever airport we're aimed at…"
"Human passengers are, of course premium cargo and not that many people need this kind of speedy international transport, where we really see money to be made at the moment is in cargo. Saraphims have a huge lift capacity and with our speed we can beat any delivery service in the world. We already have contracts with UPS and several other international delivery services…"
…Richard Angstrom, has been thought by many to be a leading member of the consortium responsible for many companies who've joined together to create Orbital Lines. Although he has largely shunned the press in recent years, he was caught at a recent symposium on the future of spaceflight and had these words to say.
"I find it amazing that having opened the door to the riches of the universe back in the sixties, we collectively turned our backs to it. It's like someone announced that it's raining soup and
instead of grabbing buckets, we all threw away our spoons and dove for cover. The future of humanity is out there with all the resources we'll ever need and here we all sit, looking down."
"I know many are laughing up their sleeve at Bush's request for NASA to begin plans for a renewed manned presence in space, I find it comforting that a sitting president today can even
acknowledge the importance opening the only real frontier we have left."
…NASA's Director Robert Dean had this to say.
"We are watching Orbital lines with great interest. There isn't another corporation attempting anything similar in scale to Orbital. Even those companies that are offering satellite placement services are partially or wholly subsidized by various governments…"
…Although the Seraphims are obviously not usable as is for replacements to the current shuttle fleet, the technology is certainly interesting. As I said before, we are watching Orbital with great interest."
This tract of land is pretty literally in the middle of nowhere. Even the Crocodile Hunter is nowhere to found. But this spot and some miles around have been purchased by holding company
connected to Orbital Lines through Richard Angstrom. Talk in the Australian Parliament hints at a second generation of Seraphims being built and flown from here. Although Orbital has issued no official statements as to plans for a "improved Seraphims", or any plans for this land other than a "Regional Facility", it is of note that prior to
purchasing this land, Angstrom's holding company was in negotiations with New Zealand for a similar area. Those negotiations are said to have fallen apart when the New Zealand government refused to issue a waiver on its nuclear energy ban…
New U Redux ch.8 "Gross Adjustments-What happened while you weren't looking" | Login/Create an account | 5 Comments
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Re: New U Redux ch.8 "Gross Adjustments-What happened while you weren't looking"
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by slothrop on Aug 02, 2004 - 12:24 AM
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It is astounding when an author cares enough to create a scientific basis which holds water, and even more astounding when it is threaded into a complex and human plot.
I almost hate to critique this. I loved Dan'l's lengthy introspection. I had hoped to see him resolve his crisis in some meaningful, reasonable way and it was a thing of beauty. I think you are at your best when you do that.
You use third person omniscient POV, which is fine, of course, but I couldn't help wondering if you didn't miss a few opportunities with it. Instead of the long soliloquy with Dan'l in this chapter, why you didn't you use those insights in the scene with Jamie and Dan'l's confrontation in Chapter 7? That was a confusing, violent scene to me. I kept wondering "why is Dan'l doing this?"
One of the main strengths of 3rd person is to show different sides of an issue at the same time. The added insights would have afforded the reader a chance to feel what they both were thinking as they were thinking it. The reader's understanding would grow as events unfolded, as opposed to waiting until the next chapter to find out what it was all about.
Clarity. In spots, I had to read closely to catch the points you were trying to make. I can't help but feel that a more linear approach would help. I didn't see a reason to throw in the flashbacks of Chapter 7, for instance. (Saturday, Now Sunday, etc.)
I applaud your effort to make it scientifically sound. One caveat: sci-fi's popularity is due to making the story real to the reader - the kind of wow that comes from, "this could actually happen!" Too much unnecessary detail, even scientific, bogs it down. A balance must be drawn somewhere. Only you know if the viral/bacterial detail is pertinant to later events. If it isn't, then I would suggest cutting back a little and using only enough detail to carry the story forward.
Bottom line: The story was beautiful and satisfying, but it could have used, IMHO, some technical tweaking.
Doug
Re: New U Redux ch.8 "Gross Adjustments-What happened while you weren't looking"(Score: 1) by NiGHTs (revuefu@hotmail.com) on Aug 03, 2004 - 04:35 AM (User info | Send a message) http://
Gosh, you have got one zinger of a hug coming too, Vark. ^_^
Ummm, how do I address this some of the points you're making here? ('cause I do think they're all valid)
On Dan'l: Reasoning after the fact, I think I was trying as much to bring out the "confusing" nature of Jamie and Dan'l's relationship with each other as much as possible. At least, that's where I think my head was at the time.
Today, I think there's more than a fair chance, that I'm not a good writer technically (at least) and was going for the shock value in Dan'l's 1st outburst against Jamie. Since I still wasn't sure at the time how to describe where his head was at the time. Dan'l's Diary entries gave me the chance to fully give myself over to him and let him say it his own words.
Better than that, I can't say.
On the clarity issue, Especially as pertains to Chapter 7, This was a case of being unable to to tell the story linearly without felling that it was slow and ploding. I know it doesn't all "Join" the way it should. Chapter 8 was my attempt to patch the cracks as it were.
Hehe, your last bit on "educating" rather than "lecturing" the reader is one I need to take to heart I think. Heinlein made the point in several letters (published posthumously. What would the Greand Master of SF have to do with 'lil ol me) that he spent hours even days working out the scientific plausability of his stories (mass to thrust issues, trajectories, planetary positions etc) so that he knew the whys and hows of what was going on. Then simply mentioned in passing a tech issue (ship's fuel is low, it takes so many days to get from point a to point b, etc) because the reader didn't need to it. Only the author needed to be satisfied the science in his (or her) fiction was sound.
I think, when I discovered how Rebus worked, I got so exited I felt I had to share and maybe went a little overboard. The TRS80/Rebus stuff does crop up later though, so I know I needed to make sure it was clear what it does. But maybe not go into as great a detail as to how.
Not yet at any rate ^_-
Great points and I love to get these kind of questions, as it makes me think through my next steps, Doug. You Ty, Jessica and a legion of others are helping me get better.
Shade and Sweetwater,
NiGHTs ^_^
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Re: New U Redux ch.8 "Gross Adjustments-What happened while you weren't looking"
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by Maggie_Finson(mfinson@cox.net)
on Aug 05, 2004 - 05:33 PM
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Nights,
I won't go into details like Doug did here. He managed to cover the salient points quite well, I think.
What I will mention is the humor and warmth you show through your characters in this story. The science is good, and not too overwhelming in most cases, and that is more than overshadowed by your characters and their interactions with one another. I particularly liked the emotional link that Dan'l and Jamie appear to have. That could easily be used to get the pair into a rapport that would ease thngs for both of them. Plus the fact that each suddenly has a sibling, even if not from the same mother.
I think you've got a good one going here and really look forward to seeing more of it.
Re: New U Redux ch.8 "Gross Adjustments-What happened while you weren't looking"(Score: 1) by NiGHTs (revuefu@hotmail.com) on Aug 06, 2004 - 08:23 AM (User info | Send a message) http://
*Bows Japanese fashion to Maggie* (never been fond of curtseies)
I am most honored to recieve such praise. ^_^
And not too surprised that you got where the empathic link is going... in the immediate future ^_- (She said with a broad hint)
Shade & Sweetwater,
NiGHTs ^_^
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